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What does it mean when a child blatantly steals from you?
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<blockquote data-quote="Giulia" data-source="post: 519955" data-attributes="member: 14306"><p>Hello, </p><p>I'm sorry for what you have to live. </p><p></p><p>My insight as a person with a soup of diagnosis will partly rejoin what the others say (not as a parent, sorry). </p><p>First, be firm on the fact that stealing and reading your journal is <u><strong>absolutely not</strong></u> acceptable. He lives under your roof, you pay the bills, he is welcome at home as soon as he follows some rules. And these rules are necessary to live as decently as possible together. </p><p>Be firm even if it involves taking extreme measures. </p><p></p><p>On the other side, set your priorities. Separate the absolutely non negotiable, what you wish so but you won't put yourself in danger to obtain it and what you want in the ideal world. It sounds dumb, but if you fight about an endless list of rules, you ruin your health and life. </p><p>Keep the non negotiable rules small but enforce them consistently, consistently, consistently. Never give them up. </p><p>Like let say no stealing, no reading journal without permission and medical care for his issues. Enforce them consistently, even if it means extreme measures. </p><p>The what you want but you won't put yourself in danger for it is getting up late, keeping his room clean and washing himself. It would be great if he does it, but you won't put yourself in danger to obtain them. </p><p>The what would be the ideal world could be finding himself a job.</p><p>I gave you this list based on what you have written. Take it if you feel like it, change it if you feel like it. </p><p>The essential is separating your priorities because otherwise, you drown yourself and everyone else. </p><p></p><p>To confess you everything, I have somehow to parent my dad. He has never had an official diagnosis but he falls in the whole symptoms of ADHD, responsibilities are like a foreign language for him and his impulsivity may lead to danger for self and others, like while drunk driving. </p><p>Mom hates taking extreme measures to get something, so does my sister, and his wife gave up. </p><p>It's exhausting to get him involved into something, so for my own sake and everyone's sake, I have to absolutely pick up my battles. He has never ever stole anything, but drunk driving is the main problem. </p><p>I hate to say so but I have to parent him despite he is 58 years old and I am 26 years old. But I see that I have no other choice, otherwise, it will lead to the whole family loss, even his 7 years old son he adopted. </p><p>My mom had never wanted to take extreme measures because "it's not respecting him" and "it's against her own nature", on which I replied that letting my dad going to the mortuary room, in jail or at hospital, and leading to such for his 7 years old son is absolutely not showing respect. However, she admitted that I am the only one who has been able to impose him something to do, despite all the mess it can create. Pfiou !!</p><p></p><p>Another tip I use when my father lies is confronting to his lies <u>factually</u>. </p><p>Like : "With the plate full of cenders, the pack of cigarettes on the table and the cold tobacco smell, I absolutely can't believe you when you tell me that you don't smoke". </p><p>Never use humor, it's opening the door to other lies, it doesn't work. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Hope it helps. I cross my fingers for you</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Giulia, post: 519955, member: 14306"] Hello, I'm sorry for what you have to live. My insight as a person with a soup of diagnosis will partly rejoin what the others say (not as a parent, sorry). First, be firm on the fact that stealing and reading your journal is [U][B]absolutely not[/B][/U] acceptable. He lives under your roof, you pay the bills, he is welcome at home as soon as he follows some rules. And these rules are necessary to live as decently as possible together. Be firm even if it involves taking extreme measures. On the other side, set your priorities. Separate the absolutely non negotiable, what you wish so but you won't put yourself in danger to obtain it and what you want in the ideal world. It sounds dumb, but if you fight about an endless list of rules, you ruin your health and life. Keep the non negotiable rules small but enforce them consistently, consistently, consistently. Never give them up. Like let say no stealing, no reading journal without permission and medical care for his issues. Enforce them consistently, even if it means extreme measures. The what you want but you won't put yourself in danger for it is getting up late, keeping his room clean and washing himself. It would be great if he does it, but you won't put yourself in danger to obtain them. The what would be the ideal world could be finding himself a job. I gave you this list based on what you have written. Take it if you feel like it, change it if you feel like it. The essential is separating your priorities because otherwise, you drown yourself and everyone else. To confess you everything, I have somehow to parent my dad. He has never had an official diagnosis but he falls in the whole symptoms of ADHD, responsibilities are like a foreign language for him and his impulsivity may lead to danger for self and others, like while drunk driving. Mom hates taking extreme measures to get something, so does my sister, and his wife gave up. It's exhausting to get him involved into something, so for my own sake and everyone's sake, I have to absolutely pick up my battles. He has never ever stole anything, but drunk driving is the main problem. I hate to say so but I have to parent him despite he is 58 years old and I am 26 years old. But I see that I have no other choice, otherwise, it will lead to the whole family loss, even his 7 years old son he adopted. My mom had never wanted to take extreme measures because "it's not respecting him" and "it's against her own nature", on which I replied that letting my dad going to the mortuary room, in jail or at hospital, and leading to such for his 7 years old son is absolutely not showing respect. However, she admitted that I am the only one who has been able to impose him something to do, despite all the mess it can create. Pfiou !! Another tip I use when my father lies is confronting to his lies [U]factually[/U]. Like : "With the plate full of cenders, the pack of cigarettes on the table and the cold tobacco smell, I absolutely can't believe you when you tell me that you don't smoke". Never use humor, it's opening the door to other lies, it doesn't work. Hope it helps. I cross my fingers for you [/QUOTE]
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What does it mean when a child blatantly steals from you?
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