A little background: My son is 20, high-school dropout though he did get his GED within 6 months of dropping out. Since then he's had little jobs here and there but mostly acts like he's on perpetual summer vacation. He smokes pot, sleeps all day and sells sneakers to bring in cash when he needs it (I don't know where he is getting the sneaker supply from). We've had blowouts since he was in high school about his performance and lack of motivation We did a brief stint with therapy, but on the days he had to go by himself he'd show up late or not at all. His father and I separated when he was a baby and his father is not a huge part of his life, though they do talk from time to time. Last March he stole $400 out of my journal (wasn't just lying around, was in what I thought was a safe area of my bedroom). He said he didn't like some of the stuff he read in there so he felt obliged to help himself to the money. So I was doubly violated, of my private thoughts and my money. Later he felt remorse and said he would pay me back with interest when he got a job. Fast forward to October when he finally gets a job - I get no money from him, but he assures me he's saving up to pay me back. By December the job is history - he is fired for lateness. Around the holidays my aunt comes by with a gift for me, but since I wasn't home when she came, she left it hanging on my apartment door (we live in a family building with 4 apartments). About a week later she asks me if I enjoyed the gift - "what gift?" I ask... My son had stolen the bag from the door and when confronted had no expression and nothing to say about the theft. Two weeks ago I accidentally left $120 in my coat pocket. The weather had warmed up so I changed coats and forgot to take the money out. When I returned later I immediately went to my coat to secure the money but it was gone. My son watched me go through the entire closet thinking the money fell out. As soon as I realized the futility of searching I pointblank asked him for the money. He swore he didn't take it yet the next day, he shows me $120 that he found in a basket in the closet. Funny thing, the money I lost was $100-dollar bill with some singles, a ten and a five, the money he gave me was two $50-dollar bills and a twenty. I thanked him for giving the money back but told him that both of us know this was not the money I lost - this was the guilt money he was replacing it with. I'm furious about the stealing but even more furious at his mental state. How did he think he would not get caught? In any of these instances? I just can't even begin to understand what kind of "thought" processes he goes through when he steals from me. It's just the 2 of us in this little apartment, why would he create such tension and animosity? I've asked him to get the eff out on numerous occasions. I've even called his father in desperation asking him to come pick him up. I am not wanting to throw him in the streets as I've seen kids go from bad to worse in NYC, but it's pretty clear at this point that he cannot continue to live here. He's not thriving, he's not motivated, he steals from the person that feeds and shelters him - I just don't get it. His father and I have both always worked - I don't know where the laziness and criminal mindedness is coming from. Any suggestions for a single woman with a grown parasite of a son? I suggested the Coast Guard but he won't go. He says he's willing to go to school but he was a crappy student all his life, I truly believe college would be a waste of time and money. I just feel totally lost, sad, depressed, unhinged, and of course like a total failure. I wish I never had him at this point, but I know that's a pointless mental exercise. I want to see him thrive, but he doesn't want that for himself, and since he's crapped on me so many times I don't even want to help him anymore.