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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 307045" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>WSM - </p><p> </p><p>I was the one that told you to call the DV shelters and get advice. The DV advocates work literally day and night. If you've left a number of messages that is excellent - they know who you are. Call them TONIGHT and leave a few more telling them you NEED them in court tomorrow morning at XX time. There may be someone on the switchboard tonight that can get back in touch with you. Or ask them if there is a way you can come by there tonight and speak with someone to be sure they are there for you tomorrow?? Keep bugging them. Tell them you are scared and fearful of reprisal from him and his son. Tell them what courtroom, time - what you look like - what you'll be wearing. etc. </p><p> </p><p>If they can help you they will. Does your department have an advocate that can show up to help you as well? That may be an idea. I would hand the judge the tape and tell him that the drinking, the child - all of it is too much on all of your kids and you have a right to live in a house WITHOUT fear. WORDS YOU WANT TO use over and over if asked are - </p><p>I am in fear - I have a right to be safe - I fear reprisal from (name husband and difficult child) - My children have a right to be safe - We ARE CURRENTLY SEEKING FAMILY COUNSELING TO DEAL WITH THE STRESS & TRAUMA - (these are things that a judge wants to hear - 1.) you are in fear for your safety & the safety of your children 2.) you KNOW you have a right to be safe 3.) You are so distraught now that he's out? You are taking yourself and the kids to counseling to begin healing. 4.) You're speaking with a domestic violence advocate & getting help. </p><p> </p><p>As far as the CPS woman? I don't think she's going to be too much on your side - (could be wrong) but her job is more for the kids that are living in a hotel right now with a drunkard. Their lives are upside down and they have to worry about what happens to THEM if HE goes to rehab for 90 days - would you take them? Or just her? Where would HE go (difficult child) things like that. So her concern now is trying to figure out what relative or placement those kids would go into if daddy dearest got treatment. AND talking to his co-workers, family, school teachers of the kids, their friends, neighbors - to find out what his character etc is like. Not much to do about you personally yet...if at all. I think if it were me - the less I talked to her? (registered letter fine) but the better. You know - kinda let her have her space to do her job. </p><p> </p><p>You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow - and it may be worth your while to find out where this DV shelter is tonight JUST in case you can swing by there in the morning BEFORE court - and let them know you REALLY need their help. Also HOW you dress tomorrow is going to be important - No dragon lady - you want to look a little - frazzled, worn out - worried....demure...dark circles - pensive. Not "I will skin you." But not - I'm lost with out you either. been there done that - As little eye contact with him as possible too - you WILL be being watched and all your actions as well. Keep that in mind as someone who wants an Order of Protection upheld for a lot longer. You may - and this would not be a bad idea - call the police station and ask them for a police escort into the courtroom. Tell them that you're not sure what he's capable of - and that you have an OOP for CDV and can you have an officer meet you at the courthouse? They (by law) will escort you to the courtroom too. The day I got my divorce - they brought me in wearing a bullet proof vest - and helmet. The officers were in full riot gear too. Not kidding. - ask for it. </p><p> </p><p>Good luck -</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 307045, member: 4964"] WSM - I was the one that told you to call the DV shelters and get advice. The DV advocates work literally day and night. If you've left a number of messages that is excellent - they know who you are. Call them TONIGHT and leave a few more telling them you NEED them in court tomorrow morning at XX time. There may be someone on the switchboard tonight that can get back in touch with you. Or ask them if there is a way you can come by there tonight and speak with someone to be sure they are there for you tomorrow?? Keep bugging them. Tell them you are scared and fearful of reprisal from him and his son. Tell them what courtroom, time - what you look like - what you'll be wearing. etc. If they can help you they will. Does your department have an advocate that can show up to help you as well? That may be an idea. I would hand the judge the tape and tell him that the drinking, the child - all of it is too much on all of your kids and you have a right to live in a house WITHOUT fear. WORDS YOU WANT TO use over and over if asked are - I am in fear - I have a right to be safe - I fear reprisal from (name husband and difficult child) - My children have a right to be safe - We ARE CURRENTLY SEEKING FAMILY COUNSELING TO DEAL WITH THE STRESS & TRAUMA - (these are things that a judge wants to hear - 1.) you are in fear for your safety & the safety of your children 2.) you KNOW you have a right to be safe 3.) You are so distraught now that he's out? You are taking yourself and the kids to counseling to begin healing. 4.) You're speaking with a domestic violence advocate & getting help. As far as the CPS woman? I don't think she's going to be too much on your side - (could be wrong) but her job is more for the kids that are living in a hotel right now with a drunkard. Their lives are upside down and they have to worry about what happens to THEM if HE goes to rehab for 90 days - would you take them? Or just her? Where would HE go (difficult child) things like that. So her concern now is trying to figure out what relative or placement those kids would go into if daddy dearest got treatment. AND talking to his co-workers, family, school teachers of the kids, their friends, neighbors - to find out what his character etc is like. Not much to do about you personally yet...if at all. I think if it were me - the less I talked to her? (registered letter fine) but the better. You know - kinda let her have her space to do her job. You'll be in my thoughts tomorrow - and it may be worth your while to find out where this DV shelter is tonight JUST in case you can swing by there in the morning BEFORE court - and let them know you REALLY need their help. Also HOW you dress tomorrow is going to be important - No dragon lady - you want to look a little - frazzled, worn out - worried....demure...dark circles - pensive. Not "I will skin you." But not - I'm lost with out you either. been there done that - As little eye contact with him as possible too - you WILL be being watched and all your actions as well. Keep that in mind as someone who wants an Order of Protection upheld for a lot longer. You may - and this would not be a bad idea - call the police station and ask them for a police escort into the courtroom. Tell them that you're not sure what he's capable of - and that you have an OOP for CDV and can you have an officer meet you at the courthouse? They (by law) will escort you to the courtroom too. The day I got my divorce - they brought me in wearing a bullet proof vest - and helmet. The officers were in full riot gear too. Not kidding. - ask for it. Good luck - [/QUOTE]
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