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What done means/meant to you?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 130246" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I wasn't done with difficult child when I pulled him off his sister, he was trying to choke her in the middle of the night. I was sure that SOMEWHERE there was help. We took him to the hospital 2 days later. In 4 months I learned things that were horrific. Things he had done to his sister.</p><p> </p><p>When we moved a year after he got out of the hospital I knew there would be a tough adjustment period. But I was so NOT going to be abused.</p><p> </p><p>The first coupld of times he got violent with me, husband was home. We talked it out, adjusted medications, etc yada yada yada.</p><p> </p><p>After about 2 months of this I called the cops. I thought he was going to break the big mirror in the bathroom and kill either himself or one of us. No hospital available for more than 3 days. Cause he wasn't a danger to anyone don'tcha know?</p><p> </p><p>Then he spent about 3 weeks iwth his grandparents after school until husband came home, just to keep the rest of us safe. But BEFORE school he would attack me.</p><p> </p><p>Then one day he was home, husband wasn't home yet, and I asked about homework. He wrestled me to the floor and started whaling away on me. Jess called 911 because she thought he was killing me. She was covering thank you's ears and rocking him.</p><p> </p><p>The Deputy was the same one that had been here before. He really really tried to talk me into keeping him here. I was done. Not mad done, though I was plenty mad. A very calm, certain, not happining anymore done. I asked the officer to file charges of assault and battery (and I was a MESS).</p><p> </p><p>I had to be rather persistent, but they took him to the Youth Shelter. Then there was a lot of court stuff. The judge did NOT want to do anything with him. Wanted me to take him home. DHS would ONLY get involved if I took him home - then they would take the other 2!!!! (Even the judge thought it was kind of screwy) but then difficult child started giving hugs to other kids (girls, of course LOL!) and the Youth Shelter called and said he had to go (They are where kids with abusive parents are sent, so you can see the problem). </p><p> </p><p>My parents took him. We did ONE more court date, with the judge still not wanting to do anything. I couldn't get him into a program unless he was court ordered, and I couldn't get the judge to do ANYTHING! Every time I had to do ANYTHING with the court I had to give them a new copy of ALL the paperwork because they "lost" it or just didn't have it. </p><p> </p><p>After waiting for 13 days to see if today was the day the court would call and send difficult child to a program, my dad told me HE wanted a chance. He would be in charge of difficult child, my mom would be there, but difficult child would NOT be allowed to hurt her. </p><p> </p><p>I told them that other than keeping insurance, I would willingly wait for the court. He felt he could do more. And, with 35+ years of teaching the rough "bad" kids, he probably can do more.</p><p> </p><p>For a long time I ONLY did family gatherings like holidays. Lately I will give difficult child rides, help planning things, etc.... THis is in the last 6 months or so.</p><p> </p><p>I am still DONE having him live in my home. Just Done. Not ever doing it again. No matter how much I love him, I can't give in on his obsessions (and my parents DID, big time). I will be the person who goes to get him if he runs again, but I won't live with him.</p><p> </p><p>We are learning to be friends, mom & son friends. But he is out of here. </p><p> </p><p>Hope this wasn't too long.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 130246, member: 1233"] I wasn't done with difficult child when I pulled him off his sister, he was trying to choke her in the middle of the night. I was sure that SOMEWHERE there was help. We took him to the hospital 2 days later. In 4 months I learned things that were horrific. Things he had done to his sister. When we moved a year after he got out of the hospital I knew there would be a tough adjustment period. But I was so NOT going to be abused. The first coupld of times he got violent with me, husband was home. We talked it out, adjusted medications, etc yada yada yada. After about 2 months of this I called the cops. I thought he was going to break the big mirror in the bathroom and kill either himself or one of us. No hospital available for more than 3 days. Cause he wasn't a danger to anyone don'tcha know? Then he spent about 3 weeks iwth his grandparents after school until husband came home, just to keep the rest of us safe. But BEFORE school he would attack me. Then one day he was home, husband wasn't home yet, and I asked about homework. He wrestled me to the floor and started whaling away on me. Jess called 911 because she thought he was killing me. She was covering thank you's ears and rocking him. The Deputy was the same one that had been here before. He really really tried to talk me into keeping him here. I was done. Not mad done, though I was plenty mad. A very calm, certain, not happining anymore done. I asked the officer to file charges of assault and battery (and I was a MESS). I had to be rather persistent, but they took him to the Youth Shelter. Then there was a lot of court stuff. The judge did NOT want to do anything with him. Wanted me to take him home. DHS would ONLY get involved if I took him home - then they would take the other 2!!!! (Even the judge thought it was kind of screwy) but then difficult child started giving hugs to other kids (girls, of course LOL!) and the Youth Shelter called and said he had to go (They are where kids with abusive parents are sent, so you can see the problem). My parents took him. We did ONE more court date, with the judge still not wanting to do anything. I couldn't get him into a program unless he was court ordered, and I couldn't get the judge to do ANYTHING! Every time I had to do ANYTHING with the court I had to give them a new copy of ALL the paperwork because they "lost" it or just didn't have it. After waiting for 13 days to see if today was the day the court would call and send difficult child to a program, my dad told me HE wanted a chance. He would be in charge of difficult child, my mom would be there, but difficult child would NOT be allowed to hurt her. I told them that other than keeping insurance, I would willingly wait for the court. He felt he could do more. And, with 35+ years of teaching the rough "bad" kids, he probably can do more. For a long time I ONLY did family gatherings like holidays. Lately I will give difficult child rides, help planning things, etc.... THis is in the last 6 months or so. I am still DONE having him live in my home. Just Done. Not ever doing it again. No matter how much I love him, I can't give in on his obsessions (and my parents DID, big time). I will be the person who goes to get him if he runs again, but I won't live with him. We are learning to be friends, mom & son friends. But he is out of here. Hope this wasn't too long. [/QUOTE]
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