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What done means/meant to you?
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<blockquote data-quote="meowbunny" data-source="post: 130599" data-attributes="member: 3626"><p>HUGS</p><p> </p><p>I wish I didn't understand but so much of what you say sounds so familiar. Mine finally outgrew the snooping. I honestly thought she never would. I can't quite get her to understand that my room is off limits and I doubt I ever will.</p><p> </p><p>Fortunately, she's not a klutz, so things rarely get broken. However, anything with a lock will. Oddly, she doesn't bother snooping in it once she can get into it, she just can't bear that something is locked. Go figure.</p><p> </p><p>For someone with zero empathy, it sounds like he showed a lot today. I know it is a big thing when my daughter acknowledges she has hurt me in any way, shape or form. Strangely, she does show empathy when someone else says something she thinks hurts me. What I can't get her to understand is that unless I love someone, they really can't do much damage to me. Another go figure to me.</p><p> </p><p>As to the missing parent thing, I kind of get that. When upset, she tosses in at least one comment about how much better her life would be with her biomom. No matter what, a missing parent is on a pedestal. Our kids can and do make heroes of the one missing -- much more so than the average child. For mine, I simply say that her biomom did the best she could and leave it at that.</p><p> </p><p>One trick -- For my daughter, just telling her a chore has to be done gets the same thing yours does: waiting until the last minute while you sit and stew because it hasn't been done. I found that if I give her a list of chores and by when each one has to be done, it works much better for both of us. If she's amenable to doing them cause she knew she blew it big time, she will do them in the timeframe given. If she's not, at least I can fairly dole out a consequence (like no tv or computer time for the allotted chore time) and let it go.</p><p> </p><p>I do hope you find a placement for him soon. He needs more than you can give him. You don't need the stress, strain and pain.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="meowbunny, post: 130599, member: 3626"] HUGS I wish I didn't understand but so much of what you say sounds so familiar. Mine finally outgrew the snooping. I honestly thought she never would. I can't quite get her to understand that my room is off limits and I doubt I ever will. Fortunately, she's not a klutz, so things rarely get broken. However, anything with a lock will. Oddly, she doesn't bother snooping in it once she can get into it, she just can't bear that something is locked. Go figure. For someone with zero empathy, it sounds like he showed a lot today. I know it is a big thing when my daughter acknowledges she has hurt me in any way, shape or form. Strangely, she does show empathy when someone else says something she thinks hurts me. What I can't get her to understand is that unless I love someone, they really can't do much damage to me. Another go figure to me. As to the missing parent thing, I kind of get that. When upset, she tosses in at least one comment about how much better her life would be with her biomom. No matter what, a missing parent is on a pedestal. Our kids can and do make heroes of the one missing -- much more so than the average child. For mine, I simply say that her biomom did the best she could and leave it at that. One trick -- For my daughter, just telling her a chore has to be done gets the same thing yours does: waiting until the last minute while you sit and stew because it hasn't been done. I found that if I give her a list of chores and by when each one has to be done, it works much better for both of us. If she's amenable to doing them cause she knew she blew it big time, she will do them in the timeframe given. If she's not, at least I can fairly dole out a consequence (like no tv or computer time for the allotted chore time) and let it go. I do hope you find a placement for him soon. He needs more than you can give him. You don't need the stress, strain and pain. [/QUOTE]
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