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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 86601" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>While we were dating (when I finally accepted that it was serious - had a bad case of gunshy because prior relationship!) we decided to adopt. I was told I would not be able to get pregnant or carry a child to term if I did, by some miracle, get pregnant.</p><p></p><p>We wanted 4 kids. While I was pg with thank you I learned that a. difficult child needed to be an only child to thrive and b. my heart did not like being pregnant. So we only had 3, and now difficult child does not live with us.</p><p></p><p>I saw "brady family" type outings. I was determined that some of the things I went through would NOT be things my kids experienced, esp with the alcohol abuse by my bro.</p><p></p><p>What we got were endless debts because difficult child therapy and doctor appts. I really thought a PHD and life doing research and teaching would happen, but it doesn't seem to be in the cards for a few more years, if at all.</p><p></p><p>I do have strong, wonderful children with an amazing capacity for love and forgiveness and tolerance. Esp Jess - one of her friends NEVER gets sleepovers anywhere, because the child only sleeps maybe 2 hours a night. I enjoy the child, though recognize when she is not stable. So does Jess, so we do things with her. Jess does not discriminate among friends, not by intelligence, physical problems, or other issues. She truly did become a diamond through the pressure of difficult child's impact on her. I am thankful I have her.</p><p></p><p>Gfgness makes me see thank you's issues with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) as no real big deal. It is part of how we live, offering him the different sensory things and time to wind down after busy times. with-o difficult child I would have been heartsick, but it just seems like no big deal. He is also very sweet and caring, even when I feel horrible and can't do much with him.</p><p></p><p>While I don't have all that I thought family life would be, at the same time I have so much more than I thought it would be. My children are so very unique and strong, and so loving toward all. difficult child is himself, but is much more stable and comfortable with himself now.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 86601, member: 1233"] While we were dating (when I finally accepted that it was serious - had a bad case of gunshy because prior relationship!) we decided to adopt. I was told I would not be able to get pregnant or carry a child to term if I did, by some miracle, get pregnant. We wanted 4 kids. While I was pg with thank you I learned that a. difficult child needed to be an only child to thrive and b. my heart did not like being pregnant. So we only had 3, and now difficult child does not live with us. I saw "brady family" type outings. I was determined that some of the things I went through would NOT be things my kids experienced, esp with the alcohol abuse by my bro. What we got were endless debts because difficult child therapy and doctor appts. I really thought a PHD and life doing research and teaching would happen, but it doesn't seem to be in the cards for a few more years, if at all. I do have strong, wonderful children with an amazing capacity for love and forgiveness and tolerance. Esp Jess - one of her friends NEVER gets sleepovers anywhere, because the child only sleeps maybe 2 hours a night. I enjoy the child, though recognize when she is not stable. So does Jess, so we do things with her. Jess does not discriminate among friends, not by intelligence, physical problems, or other issues. She truly did become a diamond through the pressure of difficult child's impact on her. I am thankful I have her. Gfgness makes me see thank you's issues with Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) as no real big deal. It is part of how we live, offering him the different sensory things and time to wind down after busy times. with-o difficult child I would have been heartsick, but it just seems like no big deal. He is also very sweet and caring, even when I feel horrible and can't do much with him. While I don't have all that I thought family life would be, at the same time I have so much more than I thought it would be. My children are so very unique and strong, and so loving toward all. difficult child is himself, but is much more stable and comfortable with himself now. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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