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What else can we do?.....vent...long
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 121831" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>I know this. I really really do. I've posted this to others many times and just in the last few days actually. </p><p></p><p>The entire time we've had difficult child, I've almost always been the "bad guy". I'm the one who sits down and tells husband what we have to do and why we have to do it that way. husband is the one who will tell difficult child that we're not buying him anything else and then turn around and buy him a watch the next day. That's not to say that husband is a total pushover because he's not at all. He's just got a softer heart when it comes to that stuff. But the closer it gets to things coming to a head, I seem to be having more and more "what if" thoughts. I absolutely know that difficult child will wind up in a shelter or on the street if we kick him out. Or at the very least, somewhere not so desirable. I know all of this. But at the same time it scares the hell out of me. Just because I don't like difficult child right now doesn't mean that I don't love him. I do. I just can't stand to live this way anymore and I don't want to. I guess I'm having trouble trying to figure out what to do with the fear and guilt. I know I shouldn't feel guilty as we've done all we could for him but it's still there. And I know that if something terrible happens to him after he leaves this house I don't know how I'll live with it. I guess underneath all of my "tough love" talk, I'm more that a little freaked out.</p><p></p><p>I suppose he could surprise us all, pull his head out of his bum and make a go of it. But, like I told the head CM today, I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm not holding my breath.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 121831, member: 2459"] I know this. I really really do. I've posted this to others many times and just in the last few days actually. The entire time we've had difficult child, I've almost always been the "bad guy". I'm the one who sits down and tells husband what we have to do and why we have to do it that way. husband is the one who will tell difficult child that we're not buying him anything else and then turn around and buy him a watch the next day. That's not to say that husband is a total pushover because he's not at all. He's just got a softer heart when it comes to that stuff. But the closer it gets to things coming to a head, I seem to be having more and more "what if" thoughts. I absolutely know that difficult child will wind up in a shelter or on the street if we kick him out. Or at the very least, somewhere not so desirable. I know all of this. But at the same time it scares the hell out of me. Just because I don't like difficult child right now doesn't mean that I don't love him. I do. I just can't stand to live this way anymore and I don't want to. I guess I'm having trouble trying to figure out what to do with the fear and guilt. I know I shouldn't feel guilty as we've done all we could for him but it's still there. And I know that if something terrible happens to him after he leaves this house I don't know how I'll live with it. I guess underneath all of my "tough love" talk, I'm more that a little freaked out. I suppose he could surprise us all, pull his head out of his bum and make a go of it. But, like I told the head CM today, I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm not holding my breath. [/QUOTE]
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