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What else can we do?.....vent...long
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<blockquote data-quote="mom_in_training" data-source="post: 121893" data-attributes="member: 2727"><p>Tough love is a gamble but for some very necessary so your fears about where he might end up are valid. been there done that with my difficult child. She was on the streets for three months and did in fact get into the drugs and the whole gamet. I could have hunted her down for the grab and save but I knew better. I knew that grabbing her up for the save would have just made matters worse and as hard as it was kept doing the tough love and waited for her to hit rock bottom. Thank god she did and stopped doing the drugs.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that you are having to go through this. I will say again your fears are valid but you can't let your fears get in the way of doing what you need to do regardless of what you choose to do and as far as guilt, You have done nothing wrong, Your difficult child has and he alone needs to take responsibilty for his own actions as well as deal with any consequences that he may have to endure in his future due to his bad choices. One of my difficult children friends is on the streets as I type this due to her having the same attitude that your difficult child has. "I'm 18 and nobody will tell me what to do" attitude. She thought that she was going to have the privledge of staying here and I said no way, This is not a hotel 6. I do not agree with her bad choices especially knowing that her family is there and willing to do anything they have to do to help her and provide for her so long as they see her making effort to better herself but she in turn snubbed her family because she does not want to abide by any rules or expectations. I printed out all that I could find locally on homeless shelters and churches that could assist her and handed them to her.</p><p></p><p>Tough love is the hardest thing to do and don't think for a minute that I was not thinking of her Mothers breaking heart but I did what I thought was necessary considering that this girl is not ready to make better choices. She does not quite get it yet (Immaturity!!!!)</p><p></p><p>I cannot believe that your difficult child had the adacity to say what he did when you voiced your opposition on the porno that he was viewing on your computer. He would be banned from having any use of the computer at all if he were mine. That is one thing I will not tolorate no matter what. No ifs ands or butts, BANNED!!!!! Its a tough call and every parent in the end will do as they see fit but no parent deserves to be treated with the kind of disrespect that some of our difficult children throw at us and its up to us to assess what we are willing to live with when our difficult children turn 18. We as parents once our difficult children become adults do have the right to let them stay and continue to make our lives a living he** or we can choose to let them fly to be the adult that they think they already are. Yea maybe age wise they are an adult but mentally, Not even close in some cases.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mom_in_training, post: 121893, member: 2727"] Tough love is a gamble but for some very necessary so your fears about where he might end up are valid. been there done that with my difficult child. She was on the streets for three months and did in fact get into the drugs and the whole gamet. I could have hunted her down for the grab and save but I knew better. I knew that grabbing her up for the save would have just made matters worse and as hard as it was kept doing the tough love and waited for her to hit rock bottom. Thank god she did and stopped doing the drugs. I am sorry that you are having to go through this. I will say again your fears are valid but you can't let your fears get in the way of doing what you need to do regardless of what you choose to do and as far as guilt, You have done nothing wrong, Your difficult child has and he alone needs to take responsibilty for his own actions as well as deal with any consequences that he may have to endure in his future due to his bad choices. One of my difficult children friends is on the streets as I type this due to her having the same attitude that your difficult child has. "I'm 18 and nobody will tell me what to do" attitude. She thought that she was going to have the privledge of staying here and I said no way, This is not a hotel 6. I do not agree with her bad choices especially knowing that her family is there and willing to do anything they have to do to help her and provide for her so long as they see her making effort to better herself but she in turn snubbed her family because she does not want to abide by any rules or expectations. I printed out all that I could find locally on homeless shelters and churches that could assist her and handed them to her. Tough love is the hardest thing to do and don't think for a minute that I was not thinking of her Mothers breaking heart but I did what I thought was necessary considering that this girl is not ready to make better choices. She does not quite get it yet (Immaturity!!!!) I cannot believe that your difficult child had the adacity to say what he did when you voiced your opposition on the porno that he was viewing on your computer. He would be banned from having any use of the computer at all if he were mine. That is one thing I will not tolorate no matter what. No ifs ands or butts, BANNED!!!!! Its a tough call and every parent in the end will do as they see fit but no parent deserves to be treated with the kind of disrespect that some of our difficult children throw at us and its up to us to assess what we are willing to live with when our difficult children turn 18. We as parents once our difficult children become adults do have the right to let them stay and continue to make our lives a living he** or we can choose to let them fly to be the adult that they think they already are. Yea maybe age wise they are an adult but mentally, Not even close in some cases. [/QUOTE]
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