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What is a lie?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 658425" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I did try to help. I shouldn't have because listening to her talk nonstop about her boyfriend when I knew that she was incapable of leaving him,, although he made her miserable, was a form of enabling her. In the end, when I didn't want to enable that anymore and told her I would not discuss him anymore...I'd talk about anything but that...she said, "But he's a big part of my life." I said, "It's your decision." Shortly thereafter we had another one of our "You're crazy and it's all your fault" fights, this tim,e on text messaging or e-mail. I still have the conversation on e-mail. I showed it to my therapist. She said, "Wow, she really is trying to bait you, isn't she? But you didn't let her. Good for you." At one time I would have let her. I learned.</p><p></p><p>I want my sister to heal. She is not happy with her life and this is just my optinion...i could be very wrong. I believe she is taking her misery with this man she loves and can't have, who is truly cruel to her most of the time, and making me her target. Do I think that's all? No. We have had words through the years. Once I got angry at her when she yelled at me and I friended all her FB friends. A few accepted!! This drove her nuts. I thought it was funny. I am far from perfect. Yet this never happens with anybody outside of my FOO. Since I have many relationships, by choice or not by choice (as in work) I know it's something about the deep hurts from our childhoods that drive our behavior towards one another. And we are better apart.</p><p></p><p>I find it spooky that she feels a need to read my thoughts. I had hoped when I checked that she would have only posted on the borderline boyfriend part of the site...lol.. She does that too sometimes <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>In the end, this isn't about whether or not I or she want to heal. She is beyond furious at me because she decided to go no contact with me and found she has no control over me anymore. At least that's how I see it. She tried to get me banned from this site. Isn't that silly? For this? And she used to get my dad to threaten me, but I have told him many times he can not control my behavior with the inheritance and to do what he wants with his money and I will do what I have to do too. He doesn't bring it up anymore. She can not control him like she controlled E. And she'll never be able to. My Dad and I love each other. He is also not perfect, but he loves me and I really, reallyl appreciate it. I feel bad because he wishes we'd all be friends, but that is now impossible. I couldn't even fake it. We are done. Enough drama, crazy stories, crazy snooping...not in my life, thank you.</p><p></p><p>Well, thank you, Cedar and Copa, I got that off my chest and hopefully can drop her now as a topic. She did not start this dysfunctional collection of people called a "family." I believe it started with my grandmother and grandfather. I know nothing about their backgrounds. They never spoke about their relatives or childhood experiences. My grandmother, who I loved dearly, only saw a few of her siblings so I'm sure there was a story there, but we never heard it. So I'm sure the dysfunction was passsed along from her FOO to her marital family and her kids and I do feel E. was probably treated as second fiddle to Uncle. And she was unable to detach enough from her mother to break the cycle and then it got all complicated when her mother loved the child she didn't love...and it's really from there t hat this mess happened and I'm just glad to be done with them...lol.</p><p></p><p>I will talk to you anytime about FOO issuees, just will try to leave out Thing 2 since s he thinks her identity is being spread around and slammed on a forum where nobody even knows me, let alone her. Honestly, I really don't care that she lies about me on a forum. I wouldn't care if she told her friends wh at I do. She probably has. I wouldn't care who she told because nobody who matters would believe her.</p><p></p><p>I have issues, but I'm *not* paranoid <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>Thanks for listening, friends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 658425, member: 1550"] I did try to help. I shouldn't have because listening to her talk nonstop about her boyfriend when I knew that she was incapable of leaving him,, although he made her miserable, was a form of enabling her. In the end, when I didn't want to enable that anymore and told her I would not discuss him anymore...I'd talk about anything but that...she said, "But he's a big part of my life." I said, "It's your decision." Shortly thereafter we had another one of our "You're crazy and it's all your fault" fights, this tim,e on text messaging or e-mail. I still have the conversation on e-mail. I showed it to my therapist. She said, "Wow, she really is trying to bait you, isn't she? But you didn't let her. Good for you." At one time I would have let her. I learned. I want my sister to heal. She is not happy with her life and this is just my optinion...i could be very wrong. I believe she is taking her misery with this man she loves and can't have, who is truly cruel to her most of the time, and making me her target. Do I think that's all? No. We have had words through the years. Once I got angry at her when she yelled at me and I friended all her FB friends. A few accepted!! This drove her nuts. I thought it was funny. I am far from perfect. Yet this never happens with anybody outside of my FOO. Since I have many relationships, by choice or not by choice (as in work) I know it's something about the deep hurts from our childhoods that drive our behavior towards one another. And we are better apart. I find it spooky that she feels a need to read my thoughts. I had hoped when I checked that she would have only posted on the borderline boyfriend part of the site...lol.. She does that too sometimes :) In the end, this isn't about whether or not I or she want to heal. She is beyond furious at me because she decided to go no contact with me and found she has no control over me anymore. At least that's how I see it. She tried to get me banned from this site. Isn't that silly? For this? And she used to get my dad to threaten me, but I have told him many times he can not control my behavior with the inheritance and to do what he wants with his money and I will do what I have to do too. He doesn't bring it up anymore. She can not control him like she controlled E. And she'll never be able to. My Dad and I love each other. He is also not perfect, but he loves me and I really, reallyl appreciate it. I feel bad because he wishes we'd all be friends, but that is now impossible. I couldn't even fake it. We are done. Enough drama, crazy stories, crazy snooping...not in my life, thank you. Well, thank you, Cedar and Copa, I got that off my chest and hopefully can drop her now as a topic. She did not start this dysfunctional collection of people called a "family." I believe it started with my grandmother and grandfather. I know nothing about their backgrounds. They never spoke about their relatives or childhood experiences. My grandmother, who I loved dearly, only saw a few of her siblings so I'm sure there was a story there, but we never heard it. So I'm sure the dysfunction was passsed along from her FOO to her marital family and her kids and I do feel E. was probably treated as second fiddle to Uncle. And she was unable to detach enough from her mother to break the cycle and then it got all complicated when her mother loved the child she didn't love...and it's really from there t hat this mess happened and I'm just glad to be done with them...lol. I will talk to you anytime about FOO issuees, just will try to leave out Thing 2 since s he thinks her identity is being spread around and slammed on a forum where nobody even knows me, let alone her. Honestly, I really don't care that she lies about me on a forum. I wouldn't care if she told her friends wh at I do. She probably has. I wouldn't care who she told because nobody who matters would believe her. I have issues, but I'm *not* paranoid ;) Thanks for listening, friends. [/QUOTE]
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