I know some have dealt with this with t heir kids and other family members and people they thought were dear friends. Do they think they are telling the truth? Do they think that by saying others are lying that this makes their lies the truth or do they believe their lies? Are t hey being manipulative? Are t hey trying to bait us? (I have learned how not to take a bait). Are they trying to gaslight us? Invalidate us and others? I am totally beyond puzzled at those who lie about others. I don't know if anyone has read Bradshaw. He's an older dude, very smart. He talks about shame and points out that t he world looks to you like you FEEL the world looks to you. If you think the world is rotten, then it will look rotten to you. If somebody else sees sunshine and flowers all the time, they will see the world is good. And it IS good. So the two people see the same world, but their focus and attitudes are different. One says "The world is rotten." The other says "The world is good?" In a way, aren't they both right? But isn't the one who sees the world as good going to have a better life? And is the person, by ignoring the fact t hat bad does take place, lying to herself? This is a question I've been thinking about lately. What IS a lie? I hope everybody does. I have an angel who has been my confidante, great advise giver, spiritual adviser and loving friend since we were both pregnant with our first children. Whenever she needs me or I need her, we drop everything and give one another the time and love we need. I had another soulmate, but she died too soon of cancer, and I miss her still. Is this unusual? Anyone else feel THAT close to somebody who is not their spouse? I feel close to my spouse too, but he has a man's perspective. I think that's different from a woman's perspective.