Apologies and forgiveness are difficult for everyone, I think. I have been thinking about both for quite some time and hoping that understanding them would help me not get hooked up. I think I understand what they mean to me, and the value of apologies and forgiveness and moving on. Where I get hooked up is in when there are no apologies. I wonder what others think and how they deal with it. I understand that only a person who has offended can offer an apology. ie: I can not apologize for M's behavior, only he can. An apology doesn't guarantee forgiveness, only a victim can offer forgiveness. And God, I suppose. And I suppose you can feel forgiveness regardless of whether someone has apologized. I think I believe that forgiveness wipes the slate clean, in a way that starts things over at the beginning. It isn't a blindfold, though. I mean, I forgive M for being so awful to us, because I think that there are a lot of reasons that he can't make better decisions. That doesn't mean that I trust that there can ever be a happy relationship with us. Forgiveness and trust are two different things. But what about people who don't want our forgiveness? Someone who hurt you knowing full well that they were hurting you, and in a way that they would never hurt someone they actually cared about. What if they say "I will never apologize because I don't care about having hurt you and I would do it again to get what I want"? If you have no choice but to interact with them from time to time and put a good face on it, do you forgive them? If so, why? I can't figure out the meaning of or reason for forgiveness in this. I get that you move on and you make the best of the time that you have to spend together. So, do you forgive the person who set out to hurt you and would do it again without a thought for you? And if you do, what's the benefit? It's not peace, because you still fear them, and they will hurt you again, given the chance. You already know that you're the better person because you would never harm someone like that, whether you cared about them or not. I have to be honest and say I don't know that I can easily change my opinion about this. It's taken me a long time to get where I already am with apologies and forgiveness, and I feel that it's a healthy approach. But if someone hurt you and the best you can do is move on because there is no doubt they will make a conscious choice to hurt you again, how does forgiveness help? Or does it?