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What is my responsibility???????
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 257498" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Stands - (gonna stick with that - I get the Sues, Susies, and Suz's mixed up and don't want to) </p><p> </p><p>This is the "thing" that isnt' a tangible thing - that happens when we start to allow our kids to stand on their own 2 feet and figure out that they really DO have to start taking some responsibility for themselves because Mom and Dad are not going to. It's not that we don't want to - it's not that we couldn't - it's that we are NOT going to. </p><p> </p><p>They know this - despite their best attempts to mask it - THEY KNOW IT. And they don't like it because they were comfortable to a degree when Mom and Dad stepped in to fix it. </p><p> </p><p>Our son just borrowed a pretty good size chunk of change off us. He was floored when we asked him for the title to his non-registered car, and to sign a legal document that stated he would pay the money back by XX-XX-2009. That it was a loan - NOT a gift. It was either that or watch him go to prison for 6 years for probation violation for under paid fines. </p><p> </p><p>We KNEW he was going to need help, but didn't volunteer. We KNEW he may not ask and just allow his depression to let him be put in jail for 6 years....but we did NOT interfere. He finally came to us and in a last ditch attempt told us ALL the resources he tried, all the things he owned that he sold and all the people he asked for work. I really was a little put off by the whole thing - but in the end we drew up a loan agreement and he signed it and I will pursue it. And he KNOWS it. So loaning or giving $10 to your son wasn't a bad thing - it made you feel good - and he needed it. </p><p> </p><p>This getting into the car thing and not getting out? These are desperate attempts from a child who isn't getting his comfort zone met any longer by his parents. He's already figured out so much - but this is really desperate. If he got in the car? I wouldn't drive anywhere. I would get out, take my keys.....and sit somewhere until he got out. If he did NOT? THEN I would call the police. Once of that should do it. </p><p> </p><p>Actually Stands I know this is so hard on your heart. I am very glad you took the weekend to be with your Hubby. I think he needed his wife too. So many times with these kids we're so involved with THEM - our spouses get neglected and they too need their batteries recharged to deal with this life. </p><p> </p><p>It would be a lot more beautiful world if addiction was a thing of the past. </p><p> </p><p>Hugs for your hurting heart - Hugs for your accomplishment! </p><p> </p><p>You have come a long way! Pat yourself on the back - </p><p> </p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 257498, member: 4964"] Stands - (gonna stick with that - I get the Sues, Susies, and Suz's mixed up and don't want to) This is the "thing" that isnt' a tangible thing - that happens when we start to allow our kids to stand on their own 2 feet and figure out that they really DO have to start taking some responsibility for themselves because Mom and Dad are not going to. It's not that we don't want to - it's not that we couldn't - it's that we are NOT going to. They know this - despite their best attempts to mask it - THEY KNOW IT. And they don't like it because they were comfortable to a degree when Mom and Dad stepped in to fix it. Our son just borrowed a pretty good size chunk of change off us. He was floored when we asked him for the title to his non-registered car, and to sign a legal document that stated he would pay the money back by XX-XX-2009. That it was a loan - NOT a gift. It was either that or watch him go to prison for 6 years for probation violation for under paid fines. We KNEW he was going to need help, but didn't volunteer. We KNEW he may not ask and just allow his depression to let him be put in jail for 6 years....but we did NOT interfere. He finally came to us and in a last ditch attempt told us ALL the resources he tried, all the things he owned that he sold and all the people he asked for work. I really was a little put off by the whole thing - but in the end we drew up a loan agreement and he signed it and I will pursue it. And he KNOWS it. So loaning or giving $10 to your son wasn't a bad thing - it made you feel good - and he needed it. This getting into the car thing and not getting out? These are desperate attempts from a child who isn't getting his comfort zone met any longer by his parents. He's already figured out so much - but this is really desperate. If he got in the car? I wouldn't drive anywhere. I would get out, take my keys.....and sit somewhere until he got out. If he did NOT? THEN I would call the police. Once of that should do it. Actually Stands I know this is so hard on your heart. I am very glad you took the weekend to be with your Hubby. I think he needed his wife too. So many times with these kids we're so involved with THEM - our spouses get neglected and they too need their batteries recharged to deal with this life. It would be a lot more beautiful world if addiction was a thing of the past. Hugs for your hurting heart - Hugs for your accomplishment! You have come a long way! Pat yourself on the back - Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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What is my responsibility???????
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