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What is reasonable?
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 472806" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Kathy, You have gotten many good suggestions and you have set clear boundries. Stick to them. My difficult child did exactly the same thing and didn't make any arrangements thinking that in the end we would break down and take him in. He ended up in a shelter. Bottom line is you deserve to be safe in your own home. Your difficult child doesn't respect that so she can't live there. I think the phone and the gas and help with living arrangements are healthy choices that show her you support her sobriety even if you do not trust her. As she works her steps all that will be reinforced. They learn that their actions affect others and trust is broken. They are supposed to make ammends. It sometimes takes a long time for them to reach that step but if she is dedicated to her recovery you will eventually get a humble and genuine apology. Do not worry about the resentment you feel. We all feel it at some point and rightly so. They turn our lives upside down make us piraih in our neighborhoods, lie, steal, leave us bruised and battered emotionally and sometimes physically. They are lucky we only resent them and not hate them. -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 472806, member: 2315"] Kathy, You have gotten many good suggestions and you have set clear boundries. Stick to them. My difficult child did exactly the same thing and didn't make any arrangements thinking that in the end we would break down and take him in. He ended up in a shelter. Bottom line is you deserve to be safe in your own home. Your difficult child doesn't respect that so she can't live there. I think the phone and the gas and help with living arrangements are healthy choices that show her you support her sobriety even if you do not trust her. As she works her steps all that will be reinforced. They learn that their actions affect others and trust is broken. They are supposed to make ammends. It sometimes takes a long time for them to reach that step but if she is dedicated to her recovery you will eventually get a humble and genuine apology. Do not worry about the resentment you feel. We all feel it at some point and rightly so. They turn our lives upside down make us piraih in our neighborhoods, lie, steal, leave us bruised and battered emotionally and sometimes physically. They are lucky we only resent them and not hate them. -RM [/QUOTE]
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