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What is with this "friend"?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 290018" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>She could be a legit person but sounds like she's unsure of what she wants and although the suggetsion came fomr her, now she's getting cold feet.</p><p></p><p>I think this happens more than we realise. There is a woman whocontacted me after my political campaign a couple of years ago to get an autism class in our area (I succeeeded). But I had to find people online, I had to post an email address and get people's names and contact details so I could then say, "I have X number of people."</p><p></p><p>Well recently I was contacted again by the mother of a teen boy with Asperger's. She rang my home phone and talked for over an hour so I suggested we meet in person in a nearby park. We brought our boys, I also brought mother in law so we could do some shopping afterwards. I gave this woman my mobile number so we could make contact with one another. She had told me her name but I couldn't for the life of me remember her or place her.</p><p></p><p>We had a productive meeting but I had the feelnig that whatever I suggested or explained about our own experiences, she was going to do what SHE wanted and then complain about the outcome. In other words, she intended to reinvent the wheel. OK, that's cool. </p><p></p><p>Then I began to get text message after text message. I replied because I HAD met her, she IS legit, she does need help. But rapidly my phone was filling up with her messages and my kids weren't getting through.</p><p></p><p>Then she rang during easy child 2/difficult child 2's rehearsal dinner a couple of weeks ago. I missed the call, didn't recognise the number and rang back - to walk into a long conversation beginning when I had low battery and other obligations. I told her to ring my home number (I made sure she had it) next morning. I stayed in - no calls.</p><p></p><p>I'm wondering if you have someone similar - needs to talk, needs support but having great difficulty reaching out and following through. </p><p></p><p>I suggest you do what I'm planning - talk if she wants to, but keep your own personal stuff out of it and if she suggests a meting, ask, "Are you sure? You don't have to," and see where it goes.</p><p></p><p>Be wary. I don't think she's an axe murderer, but she still may not be very stable. Especially if she blows hot and cold like this.</p><p></p><p>To be the one to suggest a meeting and then act like it's YOUR idea and she's not keen on it - that's a bit weird and tells me she's very shy about sticking her neck out too far. She may have a family member advising her to not allow the friendship to get to the physical meeting stage. Or there could be someone else intercepting the emails and responding.</p><p></p><p>Cool it right back. Don't shut off all communication unless you feel safer doing so, but I would definitely pull back from revealing anything more about yourself.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 290018, member: 1991"] She could be a legit person but sounds like she's unsure of what she wants and although the suggetsion came fomr her, now she's getting cold feet. I think this happens more than we realise. There is a woman whocontacted me after my political campaign a couple of years ago to get an autism class in our area (I succeeeded). But I had to find people online, I had to post an email address and get people's names and contact details so I could then say, "I have X number of people." Well recently I was contacted again by the mother of a teen boy with Asperger's. She rang my home phone and talked for over an hour so I suggested we meet in person in a nearby park. We brought our boys, I also brought mother in law so we could do some shopping afterwards. I gave this woman my mobile number so we could make contact with one another. She had told me her name but I couldn't for the life of me remember her or place her. We had a productive meeting but I had the feelnig that whatever I suggested or explained about our own experiences, she was going to do what SHE wanted and then complain about the outcome. In other words, she intended to reinvent the wheel. OK, that's cool. Then I began to get text message after text message. I replied because I HAD met her, she IS legit, she does need help. But rapidly my phone was filling up with her messages and my kids weren't getting through. Then she rang during easy child 2/difficult child 2's rehearsal dinner a couple of weeks ago. I missed the call, didn't recognise the number and rang back - to walk into a long conversation beginning when I had low battery and other obligations. I told her to ring my home number (I made sure she had it) next morning. I stayed in - no calls. I'm wondering if you have someone similar - needs to talk, needs support but having great difficulty reaching out and following through. I suggest you do what I'm planning - talk if she wants to, but keep your own personal stuff out of it and if she suggests a meting, ask, "Are you sure? You don't have to," and see where it goes. Be wary. I don't think she's an axe murderer, but she still may not be very stable. Especially if she blows hot and cold like this. To be the one to suggest a meeting and then act like it's YOUR idea and she's not keen on it - that's a bit weird and tells me she's very shy about sticking her neck out too far. She may have a family member advising her to not allow the friendship to get to the physical meeting stage. Or there could be someone else intercepting the emails and responding. Cool it right back. Don't shut off all communication unless you feel safer doing so, but I would definitely pull back from revealing anything more about yourself. Marg [/QUOTE]
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