What is your difficult child doing?
- Thread starter klmno
- Start date
Today has actually been an unusual Sunday for us. Tomorrow is difficult child 2's first day back at public school since the 3rd grade (he's a freshman in hs now.)
I've spent most of the day trying to keep him busy so he wouldn't start to stress.
For the last two hours, I let difficult child 1 have some of her friends over that difficult child 2 really likes. We've all been in the living room talking to difficult child about what to expect tomorrow, things the other kids are trying to fill in for him that "Mom just wouldn't know" - kids he shouldn't hang out with, what he should do if the other kids try to tell him to do something he's not sure he should do, etc. (I'm letting his sister talk to him about that so he can handle himself and still feel like he's being "cool.")
It's actually been the most relaxing Sunday I've spent in months! Usually, around this time every night difficult child 2 is having trouble holding back his outbursts. With the new medications & school starting tomorrow, I think he's probably had the best evening (Sunday or not) in I couldn't tell you how long!! I know he's really enjoyed all of his "friends" coming over to help him out on his last night before we set him loose into his own little world.
(He said earlier that he understands why his big sis (easy child) was so excited about moving out, getting married, and having her own life. He said he feels like that's sort of what I'm letting him do with public school.)
I've spent most of the day trying to keep him busy so he wouldn't start to stress.
For the last two hours, I let difficult child 1 have some of her friends over that difficult child 2 really likes. We've all been in the living room talking to difficult child about what to expect tomorrow, things the other kids are trying to fill in for him that "Mom just wouldn't know" - kids he shouldn't hang out with, what he should do if the other kids try to tell him to do something he's not sure he should do, etc. (I'm letting his sister talk to him about that so he can handle himself and still feel like he's being "cool.")
It's actually been the most relaxing Sunday I've spent in months! Usually, around this time every night difficult child 2 is having trouble holding back his outbursts. With the new medications & school starting tomorrow, I think he's probably had the best evening (Sunday or not) in I couldn't tell you how long!! I know he's really enjoyed all of his "friends" coming over to help him out on his last night before we set him loose into his own little world.
(He said earlier that he understands why his big sis (easy child) was so excited about moving out, getting married, and having her own life. He said he feels like that's sort of what I'm letting him do with public school.)
smallworld
Moderator
Klmno, we used to have terrible issues on Sundays. J, who tends toward the depressive side, would get incredibly down and lie around all day because he knew the next day would bring the start of the school week. He would have trouble falling asleep and lie awake in his bed until the wee hours of the morning worrying about school or fall asleep on the couch watching movies. Monday mornings he used to throw all the books off the shelves in his room in anger about having to go to school.
These issues have all disappeared since we added Seroquel to his medication mix. It's just after 10 pm here, and J's sound asleep in his bed.
So . . . what made you ask the question? What's going on with your difficult child?
These issues have all disappeared since we added Seroquel to his medication mix. It's just after 10 pm here, and J's sound asleep in his bed.
So . . . what made you ask the question? What's going on with your difficult child?
amazeofgrace
A maze of Grace - that about sums it up
by this time of nite difficult child II has run himself ragged and he's exhausted. difficult child I is video gaming and came home 2 hours past curfew, but I am waiting until 2morrow when his in-home comes to discuss it.
Fortunately, difficult child has boughten into the fact that he needs to be asleep by 8:00 on week nights. Tonight he was asleep about 8:30 (I think as the days get shorter it will be easier to reach that 8:00 goal). He asked if he could read a little bit first (8:20). I told him five minutes.
As I was making copies this morning for the Church President, I was explaining why I would not be at church council meetings or the mandatory board meetings tonight and the next two weeks. I told him that difficult child needed to be home at 7:00pm to be asleep by 8:00 pm. difficult child kept saying, "It's only one night per month - I can stay up one night per month - I have done it until this year!" Oh, difficult child please be quiet, you are not helping matters. I told him that there is PTL and until January there will be Board of Education to be up late for. There is also a kid's club on Monday nights he wants to go to. I told him that these others things had to come next after him coming first. I will not add on church council and the three upcoming mandatory bible studies. husband goes to those. husband said tonight's mandatory bible study was very scarcely attended. I wasn't the only one who couldn't make it.
Until this year, I have not had a set bed time for my kids so evenings are not stressful, just low key and mostly quiet.
As I was making copies this morning for the Church President, I was explaining why I would not be at church council meetings or the mandatory board meetings tonight and the next two weeks. I told him that difficult child needed to be home at 7:00pm to be asleep by 8:00 pm. difficult child kept saying, "It's only one night per month - I can stay up one night per month - I have done it until this year!" Oh, difficult child please be quiet, you are not helping matters. I told him that there is PTL and until January there will be Board of Education to be up late for. There is also a kid's club on Monday nights he wants to go to. I told him that these others things had to come next after him coming first. I will not add on church council and the three upcoming mandatory bible studies. husband goes to those. husband said tonight's mandatory bible study was very scarcely attended. I wasn't the only one who couldn't make it.
Until this year, I have not had a set bed time for my kids so evenings are not stressful, just low key and mostly quiet.
klmno
Active Member
Thanks, Ladies! I was just curious because I have noticed this "pattern" in difficult child- #1 the late winter/early spring nightmare, then #2 there is a Fall secondary "period" that isn't so bad, but I have to watch for school disruptions, and then I can't help but note that Sundays are difficult sometimes. When I first noticed, I really did think it was me because I am always rushing around trying to get things caught up before Monday (laundry, paperwork, etc), and then, difficult child makes issue because I drink beer (although it's not during early hours or bad times- he was saying that I yell during these times), so I didn't do that for a while just to see and he was still having a problem shifting gear (finishing homework, getting ready for school, winding down on time), but it has been an issue.
So, today, even though in his mind the problem is me, I didn't fuss so much when he didn't come in on time or when he didn't mind so well. (I started this early and could see him right in front of the house so I knew it was more of a minding issue than dangerous issue.) I just wanted to see if I could more accurately figure out the problem. I had him come in and unload the dishwasher then he went back out. I had told him not to go back out (mind you, I could still see him) and I fussed at him. he got po'd because I fussed and came back in and re-loaded the dishwasher with dishes he had just taken out. I made a joke about him trying to look like the innocent angel he was as a baby and manipulating me, which he laughed about (although, not in a defiant way- just like really in a laughing, bonding sort of way) then he came back in and unloaded the dishwasher again. I could have easily interpretted this as defiance, and I would have before now, but it really didn't look that way. I can't put my finger on it. I couldn't help but wonder what other difficult child's are doing and if other mom's are confused about what happens on Sundays.
The weird thing to me is that so much of it is how I interact with him, but the interaction that works isn't the traditional approach. It's backwards. difficult child took a shower, ate his dinner, brushed his teeth, went to his room, called for me to tuck him in, and has been there ever since.
I was just curious if others had similar experiences on Sundays and if the traditional approach worked. I'm really starting to get a little concerned that we are real odd balls! LOL! So, I guess I was wondering - even in the difficult child world, what is typical for them to be doing on a Sunday evening and what is typical for Moms to be dealing with and what has worked? All I can say about my son- during the times when he exhibits an issue, typical just doesn't work. The not-so-typical works like a charm.
So, today, even though in his mind the problem is me, I didn't fuss so much when he didn't come in on time or when he didn't mind so well. (I started this early and could see him right in front of the house so I knew it was more of a minding issue than dangerous issue.) I just wanted to see if I could more accurately figure out the problem. I had him come in and unload the dishwasher then he went back out. I had told him not to go back out (mind you, I could still see him) and I fussed at him. he got po'd because I fussed and came back in and re-loaded the dishwasher with dishes he had just taken out. I made a joke about him trying to look like the innocent angel he was as a baby and manipulating me, which he laughed about (although, not in a defiant way- just like really in a laughing, bonding sort of way) then he came back in and unloaded the dishwasher again. I could have easily interpretted this as defiance, and I would have before now, but it really didn't look that way. I can't put my finger on it. I couldn't help but wonder what other difficult child's are doing and if other mom's are confused about what happens on Sundays.
The weird thing to me is that so much of it is how I interact with him, but the interaction that works isn't the traditional approach. It's backwards. difficult child took a shower, ate his dinner, brushed his teeth, went to his room, called for me to tuck him in, and has been there ever since.
I was just curious if others had similar experiences on Sundays and if the traditional approach worked. I'm really starting to get a little concerned that we are real odd balls! LOL! So, I guess I was wondering - even in the difficult child world, what is typical for them to be doing on a Sunday evening and what is typical for Moms to be dealing with and what has worked? All I can say about my son- during the times when he exhibits an issue, typical just doesn't work. The not-so-typical works like a charm.
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K
Kjs
Guest
It isn't Sunday anymore, but difficult child had a bad headache at the time of your post. Was lying on the couch watching football. GO PACKERS!
Then did homework and to bed by 9pm!
Weekends are the best days of the week. No School! But still headaches.
Then did homework and to bed by 9pm!
Weekends are the best days of the week. No School! But still headaches.
hi,
i'm late to this one...it's monday now and difficult child is sleeping and catching up from 3 week high. yes sunday's can be more problematic. For us i think it has alot to do with the impending week, responsibilities, school. so there is more issue there.
weekends are hard because difficult child is very wired or has been as of late. i do not force the rules of a bedtime on her because it is so stressful for her during week nights so friday she gets to stay up and then saturday i start to work on it again to prepare for sunday night then sunday is regular time.
why, what are your sundays like?? you find more issue on sundays than other days?
i'm late to this one...it's monday now and difficult child is sleeping and catching up from 3 week high. yes sunday's can be more problematic. For us i think it has alot to do with the impending week, responsibilities, school. so there is more issue there.
weekends are hard because difficult child is very wired or has been as of late. i do not force the rules of a bedtime on her because it is so stressful for her during week nights so friday she gets to stay up and then saturday i start to work on it again to prepare for sunday night then sunday is regular time.
why, what are your sundays like?? you find more issue on sundays than other days?
Stella Johnson
Active Member
Sundays are usually pretty relaxed in our house until it is time to get ready for school on Monday. She is not a Monday person. My difficult child has never been good at transition of any kind.
Steph
Steph
