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What Next???!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 97001" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'll give you a big hug. Before you finalize the adoption, PLEASE be sure you are up for this, especially if you plan on having an infant one day that this boy or even the girl may harm. I've been a foster parent and adopted three kids from foster care. Only one still lives with us (and we got him at the young age of two and he had never been abused). Adopting older kids and foster kids is a work in progress that may never get you exactly what you want (a family feeling). And please be careful of your kids--sexually abused kids are more apt to act out on others than those who haven't been. This happened with one of our sons. We didn't realize it, but he was sexually abusing our younger two kids. Rarely do adoptive parents get the big picture. Sometimes the case manager simply doesn't know what has happened to the child before you got him. I would make sure there is an alarm on the door at night or a videocamera--I wish we'd known to do this. We hadn't known the boy had been sexually abused, and the boy himself didn't remember it happening. However, he obviously had it happen to him somewhere..he turned out to be quite dangerous. You should probably have your daughter in therapy for sexual abuse, even if she is acting ok now. Just a suggestion.</p><p> I'm not saying this to dash you're hopes--just to make you realize that your family could be very different than if these kids had come to you in infancy before all the bad stuff happened. Are you in a local foster/adoptive support group? I highly recommend it!</p><p>Welcome to the board.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 97001, member: 1550"] I'll give you a big hug. Before you finalize the adoption, PLEASE be sure you are up for this, especially if you plan on having an infant one day that this boy or even the girl may harm. I've been a foster parent and adopted three kids from foster care. Only one still lives with us (and we got him at the young age of two and he had never been abused). Adopting older kids and foster kids is a work in progress that may never get you exactly what you want (a family feeling). And please be careful of your kids--sexually abused kids are more apt to act out on others than those who haven't been. This happened with one of our sons. We didn't realize it, but he was sexually abusing our younger two kids. Rarely do adoptive parents get the big picture. Sometimes the case manager simply doesn't know what has happened to the child before you got him. I would make sure there is an alarm on the door at night or a videocamera--I wish we'd known to do this. We hadn't known the boy had been sexually abused, and the boy himself didn't remember it happening. However, he obviously had it happen to him somewhere..he turned out to be quite dangerous. You should probably have your daughter in therapy for sexual abuse, even if she is acting ok now. Just a suggestion. I'm not saying this to dash you're hopes--just to make you realize that your family could be very different than if these kids had come to you in infancy before all the bad stuff happened. Are you in a local foster/adoptive support group? I highly recommend it! Welcome to the board. [/QUOTE]
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