Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What Next???!!!!
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 97261" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>April,</p><p></p><p>Many gentle hugs to you this morning. </p><p></p><p>Looking at your signature, I see that you list your difficult child daughter as having no real problems however has a hx of being abused in about every way possible. Those are huge problems that will haunt her & you for years to come.</p><p></p><p>Your difficult child son - if psychiatrist says inpatient, it should happen. Period! CM be damned. The reality is that you have every right to call CM & have that child removed from your home. Especially if the county is refusing proper & prescribed treatment.</p><p></p><p>Having said that, you are in for the long haul. These children are not for the faint of heart. They affect each & every area of your life. My health & my marriage were the first targets.</p><p></p><p>The tweedles triangulated husband & myself; pushed my body past what a normal body tolerates physically, mentally, emotionally. </p><p></p><p>Now is the time for taking a long hard look at this. Unfortunately, love doesn't cure these children - if that were the case you'd see many children on this board being called PCs. It's a lifetime commitment & an exhausting one at that. </p><p></p><p>There has been an ongoing debate on nature versus nurture; in many of our kids cases, we are seeing nature rear it's very ugly head. The mental illnesses, drug addictions, etc in the bio family & that was not disclosed to husband & myself (& to many other adoptive parents on this board).</p><p></p><p>God - I wished love cured our children!</p><p></p><p>Please take the time now to examine this lifetime decision. husband & I decided 2 years ago that our marriage came before the children. Before our marriage - we each, individually had to care for ourselves. It's been an enlightening 2 years & the realizations continue. However, both husband & I are stronger - emotionally & mentally, now. We are both on the same page.</p><p></p><p>And our son wm no longer lives under our roof. Yes, my daughter's twin daughter lives about 30 miles away. It's the only way our family was going to survive. </p><p></p><p>Right, wrong, or indifferent - we've learned & are learning to be "a family of different addresses". It's just another way to be a family.</p><p></p><p>Just a few thoughts on this - it's a heart wrenching place to be.</p><p></p><p></p><p>by the way, when & if you & husband work this out; become stronger individually & as a couple, these children can be rewarding. The rewards are few & far between; you have to look for them. Sometimes you have to create the positives, but they are there.</p><p></p><p>Good luck & please keep us updated.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 97261, member: 393"] April, Many gentle hugs to you this morning. Looking at your signature, I see that you list your difficult child daughter as having no real problems however has a hx of being abused in about every way possible. Those are huge problems that will haunt her & you for years to come. Your difficult child son - if psychiatrist says inpatient, it should happen. Period! CM be damned. The reality is that you have every right to call CM & have that child removed from your home. Especially if the county is refusing proper & prescribed treatment. Having said that, you are in for the long haul. These children are not for the faint of heart. They affect each & every area of your life. My health & my marriage were the first targets. The tweedles triangulated husband & myself; pushed my body past what a normal body tolerates physically, mentally, emotionally. Now is the time for taking a long hard look at this. Unfortunately, love doesn't cure these children - if that were the case you'd see many children on this board being called PCs. It's a lifetime commitment & an exhausting one at that. There has been an ongoing debate on nature versus nurture; in many of our kids cases, we are seeing nature rear it's very ugly head. The mental illnesses, drug addictions, etc in the bio family & that was not disclosed to husband & myself (& to many other adoptive parents on this board). God - I wished love cured our children! Please take the time now to examine this lifetime decision. husband & I decided 2 years ago that our marriage came before the children. Before our marriage - we each, individually had to care for ourselves. It's been an enlightening 2 years & the realizations continue. However, both husband & I are stronger - emotionally & mentally, now. We are both on the same page. And our son wm no longer lives under our roof. Yes, my daughter's twin daughter lives about 30 miles away. It's the only way our family was going to survive. Right, wrong, or indifferent - we've learned & are learning to be "a family of different addresses". It's just another way to be a family. Just a few thoughts on this - it's a heart wrenching place to be. by the way, when & if you & husband work this out; become stronger individually & as a couple, these children can be rewarding. The rewards are few & far between; you have to look for them. Sometimes you have to create the positives, but they are there. Good luck & please keep us updated. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What Next???!!!!
Top