I'm new and hoping for "permission" and clarity of proceeding with the situation we are in with our 29 year old son. I will try to recap the past 8 years as briefly as possible.
Problems began with substance abuse late high school, full blown psychotic episode last year of college. Sent to rehab, left rehab and no contact with my husband and I, contacted because he needed car etc...I think we all know the cycle of no contact/contact when they need something. All together 2 rehabs, 3 psychotic hospitalizations, 1 suicide attempt.
Different diagnosis through all of this but borderline personality disorder, bi-polar, schizophrenia all have been suggested. He has had treatment but does not stay on medication. Has refused treatment and medication for the past several years.
Writes books no one can understand, has no friends left, has strong opinions that he is the great beast...godlike etc...so much more. Lives alone and totally isolated. My husband and I the only people who remain in contact with him. His 2 brothers won't engage except when we have had them all at holidays which are uncomfortable for EVERYONE when he is there. It is very sad because he is a very sick young man who refuses treatment and does not acknowledge how sick he is.
Has always kept employment, great work ethic. Occasionally needs money but mostly self supporting until 2 months ago. Lost his job, began thinking we are in on a scheme to monitor him together with a group and keeps asking when the test will be over.
Have seen therapist, talked to specialists....have been fully financially supporting him. He does nothing all day is my guess but look things up on the internet. My husband has been ready to end all financial support and this is causing big stress to our marriage. I understand this needs to happen if he won't seek help. We told him a few days ago, here is the money for the month, here are places to make an appointment with a psychiatrist, get an appointment, become compliant with their recommendation, and agree we can meet with or talk with the doctor to be sure treatment is being done. Under these circumstances we will continue to help you. If you do not do this the money stops.
His response is "i'm pretty sure you'll still give me money" this is unbelievable. He says medication has not worked for him in the past and therapy is a scam......
So to my point... re: the detachment articles I've read here. It's going to happen, the money will end, the text messages will be great anger and sadness. Seems someone who cannot think rationally, leaving him to fend on his own is harsh but again he's had so many chances for so many years.
Just needing the strength to save my sanity, keep my family, enjoy the many blessings I have instead of living daily with a black cloud over my head. It's been too many years since I have felt free and my husband is at a breaking point with me as well as him it feels. He has wanted to be done with this situation long before now. I have stretched out the contact and support but it hasn't helped anyone and in fact things are worse than they have ever been.
Thank you for listening, yes this as many have said is the hardest most unimaginable circumstance and can't even believe we're getting ready to set him loose to the streets.
