What should I be doing?

[busywend]

I do not post here often. But, difficult child has been so much better in the attitude and defiance departments that it has felt like such a relief.

I have realized that my focus was so not on school work that I do not know how to enter into that subject at this point. She got her 5 week report and was only passing 2 classes - art and gym, both with just a 65. Yeah, that is pretty bad, huh?

So, I did contact the school and they are re-evaluating her and making sure the aides approach her as she has not asked anyone for help.

What I really need to know is how to go about slowly entering into her school work world without going back to the resistant, angry girl I once had. Just looking to see if anyone has had any success and has suggestions on how to go about this. She did ask me for help the other night with her Math work (even told me to call boyfriend! and for those that know me - that was shocking!). We did help her with a couple problems and then she was too tired to finish the last problem.
She is just so behind in the study skills area. I could not push it for many years as it turned so ugly. I have expressed this to her, that I thought she was behind in some areas like note taking and studying skills and that she needed to learn those skills as they will be used in other areas of life than school. She did not get angry, but did deny that she has problems there.

I just do not know what to do next. Any suggestions? Much appreciated!

 

[tiredmommy]

Any chance that she would consider tutoring? Or possibly staying late/going in early to meet with her teachers for extra help? My experience tells me that those students who sincerely want to do the work will receive the help needed to do so.
That being said, could her medications need adjusting?

 

[busywend]

TM, I do not think medications need adjusting, but it is inconsistent. I am bringing an alarm clock to dad's tomorrow and setting it up in the kitchen to go off at 6:30 each morning so she is reminded to take it. Nobody is up with her there when she gets ready for school so she is forgetting it a few times a week. The days she gets up here I either get it for her or remind her and it is more like a habit here for her now.

She has stayed after school - but more from the teacher threat than mine. Maybe I should email all the teachers to see if they will offer extra help with her. She certainly does not go pursuing it.

 

[Martie]

Wendy,

Does difficult child have an IEP. I should know but as you said, you don't come here often.

I can give you TONS of info on this particular problem. Ex-difficult child had an IEP but it was to protect him legally, not get help academically. He did not have academic problems per se--he just never did the work, which of course, becomes a problem in itself. He was also very angry about school, resistened help and interventions, etc.

PM me or post here if you like.

Martie

 

[busywend]

Yes, she has an IEP. Aides in 3 out of 4 core classes. They did not give her an aide in Math this year, because when she works one on one she is REALLY good in Math, so they do not feel she needs the help. She also has resource room 3 out of 4 days. I recently called them about helping her in the resource room with Math and they said 'she has not asked for any help'. I said with an average of 57%, don't you know she is struggling? Go to her. I know at 15 she should be able to ask for help, but she will not typically be the one to approach them.

I will work on the school help. But, I would like to know what I should start doing at home. I would like to start slowly and prevent meltdowns. Maybe it is a bit of PTSD on my part. I am a bit fearful of the confrontation that feels inevitable.

 

[Sheila]

Will the reevaluation include testing that will tell you where difficult child is academically? If not, I recommend that you request it.

I'd specifically request that the test data reflect grade equivalency with the Standard and/or Scaled Scores. This information would then put you in a position to decide what goals or other services (tutoring, extended year school) are needed in the IEP to get difficult child back on track.

 

[busywend]

Thank you. I will have to get more info on the reevaluating that took place. difficult child did not share much about it with me.

 

[Sheila]

This is not likely something the student would know. This info would have to be tendered via the Diagnostician or Special Education Department.