Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What should I do???
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 84237" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I wouldn't be ringing M's place and I certainly wouldn't say anything about this in a message - I'd be dropping in personally. And to S, too - a personal visit.</p><p></p><p>A sad thought - while it IS possible S is lying to you when she says her mother isn't home, it's quite likely her parents DO leave her on her own, because how else do you make that amount of money? Or keep it? And with parents setting the example for you, that money is the be all and end all, why wouldn't a girl use money (a plentiful commodity, used to buy things) to buy friends, or at least buy them off if she wants them to be kind to her and not mean.</p><p></p><p>S may have good and loving parents and she may have simply misunderstood without them realising it (if they are busy, especially).</p><p></p><p>M may have been leaning on her, as your son suggested, or she may have been freer with the money. And it COULD be her money, although I suspect her parents wouldn't be happy with her using it in this way. Or she might have taken it from their 'stash'.</p><p></p><p>We went through a time where difficult child 1 was stealing large amounts from my wallet; he was really clumsy, he took far too much and it was quickly obvious that money was being taken AND he was turning up with expensive toys which he SAID had been given to him by a certain friend. That's when he discovered that he should never try to lie to me - he's really, really bad at trying to maintain a lie.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 is a good kid (good guy, now). He was then - but he was very misguided. We sorted it out. But we did it face to face.</p><p>When we had problems with other kids he was mixing with we again sorted it out face to face. difficult child 1 was mixing with a group of kids who have since gone to the bad. They were stealing stuff from him (stuff he had bought with my money, secretly) so I went round personally and asked for the stuff back, and said I was taking it out of difficult child 1's hide until we GOT it back, and had notified the police (which I had not). This resulted in difficult child 1 being ostracised by the kids who didn't want a nosy, persistent mother watching their every move. IE decent kids had no problem with this, only the ones already doing the wrong thing. It kept difficult child 1 safe from the bad kids. And now he's older, he can make better judgements (including character judgements) himself, which he could not do before.</p><p></p><p>Dive in. Talk to people personally. You're already on the right track. And if this means your kid gets ostracised by the kids who aren't doing things exactly right, then GOOD! If they're decent kids just briefly misled, they won't take it out on him.</p><p></p><p>It's times like this that really sort out the good kids, from the ones who want to take every advantage they can in the world.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 84237, member: 1991"] I wouldn't be ringing M's place and I certainly wouldn't say anything about this in a message - I'd be dropping in personally. And to S, too - a personal visit. A sad thought - while it IS possible S is lying to you when she says her mother isn't home, it's quite likely her parents DO leave her on her own, because how else do you make that amount of money? Or keep it? And with parents setting the example for you, that money is the be all and end all, why wouldn't a girl use money (a plentiful commodity, used to buy things) to buy friends, or at least buy them off if she wants them to be kind to her and not mean. S may have good and loving parents and she may have simply misunderstood without them realising it (if they are busy, especially). M may have been leaning on her, as your son suggested, or she may have been freer with the money. And it COULD be her money, although I suspect her parents wouldn't be happy with her using it in this way. Or she might have taken it from their 'stash'. We went through a time where difficult child 1 was stealing large amounts from my wallet; he was really clumsy, he took far too much and it was quickly obvious that money was being taken AND he was turning up with expensive toys which he SAID had been given to him by a certain friend. That's when he discovered that he should never try to lie to me - he's really, really bad at trying to maintain a lie. difficult child 1 is a good kid (good guy, now). He was then - but he was very misguided. We sorted it out. But we did it face to face. When we had problems with other kids he was mixing with we again sorted it out face to face. difficult child 1 was mixing with a group of kids who have since gone to the bad. They were stealing stuff from him (stuff he had bought with my money, secretly) so I went round personally and asked for the stuff back, and said I was taking it out of difficult child 1's hide until we GOT it back, and had notified the police (which I had not). This resulted in difficult child 1 being ostracised by the kids who didn't want a nosy, persistent mother watching their every move. IE decent kids had no problem with this, only the ones already doing the wrong thing. It kept difficult child 1 safe from the bad kids. And now he's older, he can make better judgements (including character judgements) himself, which he could not do before. Dive in. Talk to people personally. You're already on the right track. And if this means your kid gets ostracised by the kids who aren't doing things exactly right, then GOOD! If they're decent kids just briefly misled, they won't take it out on him. It's times like this that really sort out the good kids, from the ones who want to take every advantage they can in the world. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What should I do???
Top