I'm sorry you are hurting. I'll answer quickly...have to go b ut don't want you to feel alone.
I'd throw out all gay porn and tell Son that if he wants to live with you:
1/No more porn period (if he is gay, he is gay. You can't change that. I wouldn't bring it up because if he feels guilty about it, he will only feel more depressed. And he can't help his sexuality. Let that go. JMO)
2/If he is not respectful, he needs a consequence...maybe again he will have to leave or else you will not pay for his things. I don't know about your country, but twenty years old is an adult here and most twenty year olds do pay for much of their own things.
3/Talking to himself can be serious. Make sure he is not hallucinating. Take him to a good psychiatrist if he is willing to go. If he won't, you can also set limits and consequences. "You can live with us, but only if you receive help."
Question: Are you sure he is not using recreational drugs? That can make our adult children REALLY act crazy, lazy and abusive to us.
I'm sorry for your hurting heart and hope your son will respond to boundaries if you are able to set them. I hope he chooses to follow your house rules.
Hugs from the U.S!!!!
