Hi - I am so sorry you are going through this. It is hard worrying about the possibility of suicide. It does sound like your son is dealing with mental illness and I am sure his questions of his sexual orientation in a culture that is not accepting of that makes it more difficult for him.
My take is the best thing you could do is to back off.... I don't think at this time I would make an issue of the porn. I would tell him that you don't want your younger child to come across it and if he is going to have porn he needs to keep it out of sight. I would do whatever you can to connect with him which I realize is really really hard given his mood and his behavior. Let him know you love him and that you will help him get help when he wants and is ready for it..... And then you have to do whatever you can to take care of yourself. This is really hard and it is hard not get totally obsessed with worry about your son, losing focus on everything else in your life. So let him you know you care but then model taking care of you!
