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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 453543" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Once the child is an adult, they MUST try to support themselves.</p><p></p><p>There is nothing wrong with helping a child - help themselves. Our society, though, has become enabling just by dint of helicopter parenting. We don't want the kid to have X consequence, so we do Y for him - and he learns nothing.</p><p></p><p>The plethora of diagnosis's, as opposed to the past, is partially due to advances in medicine and psychology, and partially due to empowered patients/guardians. For instance, my son has mild ADHD. For him, medication was a disaster. However, biomom TOLD the doctor which medication she wanted and the dosage. (Huh?) When it didn't work, she tried another, and another, and another. And finally (2 months after this started), he came to live with us and we asked the pediatrician to help us - weaned him off Concerta and, with help, he's advancing. On the flip side of the coin, my daughter is bipolar and should be medicated. The third one tried was a wonder drug for her. But she refuses medications. The longer we go, the worse she gets. She doesn't want help. We have plans in place for her until she turns 18; if at any time she reaches out to us for HELP, not to DO IT FOR HER, we will help.</p><p></p><p>So it's 6 of one, half dozen of another about the diagnosis's. I have a great-aunt who was diagnosis'd Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) at age 71. And suddenly everyone "got" why she was "odd" all her life. Great-Grandpa was Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but they didn't call it that then. He self-medicated with alcohol and beat one of his sons to death.</p><p></p><p>After all that... If he is truly willing to help himself, grandparents won't be an issue. If not, and he goes to them because they enable him? You have to detach. It's not easy. But you cannot do FOR...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 453543, member: 6705"] Once the child is an adult, they MUST try to support themselves. There is nothing wrong with helping a child - help themselves. Our society, though, has become enabling just by dint of helicopter parenting. We don't want the kid to have X consequence, so we do Y for him - and he learns nothing. The plethora of diagnosis's, as opposed to the past, is partially due to advances in medicine and psychology, and partially due to empowered patients/guardians. For instance, my son has mild ADHD. For him, medication was a disaster. However, biomom TOLD the doctor which medication she wanted and the dosage. (Huh?) When it didn't work, she tried another, and another, and another. And finally (2 months after this started), he came to live with us and we asked the pediatrician to help us - weaned him off Concerta and, with help, he's advancing. On the flip side of the coin, my daughter is bipolar and should be medicated. The third one tried was a wonder drug for her. But she refuses medications. The longer we go, the worse she gets. She doesn't want help. We have plans in place for her until she turns 18; if at any time she reaches out to us for HELP, not to DO IT FOR HER, we will help. So it's 6 of one, half dozen of another about the diagnosis's. I have a great-aunt who was diagnosis'd Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) at age 71. And suddenly everyone "got" why she was "odd" all her life. Great-Grandpa was Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), but they didn't call it that then. He self-medicated with alcohol and beat one of his sons to death. After all that... If he is truly willing to help himself, grandparents won't be an issue. If not, and he goes to them because they enable him? You have to detach. It's not easy. But you cannot do FOR... [/QUOTE]
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