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What to do, what to do
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<blockquote data-quote="KTMom91" data-source="post: 223832" data-attributes="member: 4040"><p>I know. I remember those awful, awful days, when everything I did or didn't do was wrong. It wore me down till I was a big puddle of nothing. I even asked Hubby to have his vasectomy reversed so I could have another child to prove I really was a good mother, since I was so obviously a failure with Miss KT. And since I was a failure as a mother, didn't that also mean I was a failure as a person? I beat myself up horribly for so long, and there are still times when I wonder if somehow it's my fault that she's like this. </p><p></p><p>The hardest thing for me was to recognize that I couldn't help her, and I learned that from my adult students. Many of them had been to AA or NA, and they said the first step was "we admitted we were powerless over_____." AA members, sorry if I didn't remember it correctly. That made a lot of sense to me, because I AM powerless over Miss KT's lousy attitudes. I AM powerless over her determination to sabotage herself. I AM powerless over her behaviors. All I can do is set the boundaries and make the tools available to her when she wants to make a positive change. It's so hard. You are NOT a failure, and you are NOT alone. Many hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="KTMom91, post: 223832, member: 4040"] I know. I remember those awful, awful days, when everything I did or didn't do was wrong. It wore me down till I was a big puddle of nothing. I even asked Hubby to have his vasectomy reversed so I could have another child to prove I really was a good mother, since I was so obviously a failure with Miss KT. And since I was a failure as a mother, didn't that also mean I was a failure as a person? I beat myself up horribly for so long, and there are still times when I wonder if somehow it's my fault that she's like this. The hardest thing for me was to recognize that I couldn't help her, and I learned that from my adult students. Many of them had been to AA or NA, and they said the first step was "we admitted we were powerless over_____." AA members, sorry if I didn't remember it correctly. That made a lot of sense to me, because I AM powerless over Miss KT's lousy attitudes. I AM powerless over her determination to sabotage herself. I AM powerless over her behaviors. All I can do is set the boundaries and make the tools available to her when she wants to make a positive change. It's so hard. You are NOT a failure, and you are NOT alone. Many hugs. [/QUOTE]
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