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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 223835" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Heather, your daughter sounds very similar to my son except it was testosterone that was flowing freely. He was very difficult at this age. One of the things that helped me was reading a book by someone who had a diagnosis(different symptoms) similar to my son's. Looking at the world through my difficult child eyes makes me understand and tolerate some behaviors. His forgetfulness, inability to see a family members struggling with illness or sadness or to not realize that the world is not centered around him is not a behavior of choice. It is really who he is and we are all in the process of teaching him differently. </p><p></p><p>This is not self indulgence on his part but a true brain wrinkle that he was born with and lives with everyday. It's as if some important fundamental learning skipped a part of his brain. He is missing a puzzle piece that make a neurotypical person. Things that are obvious to us or were to us when we were that age are not so obvious to some of our difficult children.</p><p></p><p>We still struggle with his self absorption even though he is generous to a fault. If I ask him to do something, he usually does it but is unable to remember or establish a daily pattern on his own. Notes from me or posted schedules don't seem to work unless I remind him to look at it. He needs cued for things that he doesn't automatically remember. </p><p></p><p>Getting back to your situation of being overwhelmed. The only thing that worked for me is respite. After school care or having her do something where she is out of the house a few hours a day is important for both of you. Post a schedule for her. I would tell her that it will be a help so she doesn't feel like it is a punishment. Organizing their time is a big obstacle for them.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how to teach them to do the things their peers are doing but they are a work in progress even at 24. </p><p></p><p>Hope today is a better day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 223835, member: 3"] Heather, your daughter sounds very similar to my son except it was testosterone that was flowing freely. He was very difficult at this age. One of the things that helped me was reading a book by someone who had a diagnosis(different symptoms) similar to my son's. Looking at the world through my difficult child eyes makes me understand and tolerate some behaviors. His forgetfulness, inability to see a family members struggling with illness or sadness or to not realize that the world is not centered around him is not a behavior of choice. It is really who he is and we are all in the process of teaching him differently. This is not self indulgence on his part but a true brain wrinkle that he was born with and lives with everyday. It's as if some important fundamental learning skipped a part of his brain. He is missing a puzzle piece that make a neurotypical person. Things that are obvious to us or were to us when we were that age are not so obvious to some of our difficult children. We still struggle with his self absorption even though he is generous to a fault. If I ask him to do something, he usually does it but is unable to remember or establish a daily pattern on his own. Notes from me or posted schedules don't seem to work unless I remind him to look at it. He needs cued for things that he doesn't automatically remember. Getting back to your situation of being overwhelmed. The only thing that worked for me is respite. After school care or having her do something where she is out of the house a few hours a day is important for both of you. Post a schedule for her. I would tell her that it will be a help so she doesn't feel like it is a punishment. Organizing their time is a big obstacle for them. I don't know how to teach them to do the things their peers are doing but they are a work in progress even at 24. Hope today is a better day. [/QUOTE]
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