What to do...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Carebear, May 31, 2011.

  1. Carebear

    Carebear New Member

    My son is 3 1/2 and all of a sudden has turned into a crazy person! He's normally a lovable little boy and now it seems little things make him turn into a monster. He has starting hitting, pinching, biting and scratching me out of no where. He is having a rough time handling his emotions and not able to express his anger. I've tried to explain that it's ok to feel upset when mommy tells you to do something that you don't want to do but hitting is not ok, we need to use our words and not our hands...he thinks it's funny and he's stuck in this "rage" and he doesn't know what he's doing. It's so frustrating. I'm hoping it's just a phase but I'm so worried about it! It's only directed at me, mostly because I'm with him most I assume. Thankfully he's not doing this at school...yet, I just don't want it to get there though. Any thoughts would be great
  2. amy1129

    amy1129 New Member

    Hi Carebear,
    I feel your pain. My son was the same way, he started at about 1 1/2-2 and we thought it was either a phase or "a boy thing". I talked to his pedi every year and they kept telling me to get him help. I didnt want to believe it because he only did it with husband and I, no one else saw, they thought we were crazy. So year after year his pedi would tell us the same thing, nip this now before it gets worse. At the age of 6, I finally started the journey of seeking professional help. We are still working on ways to help him and figuring out what is going on with him and getting a diagnoses, if any. I will say that my son did the hitting, biting, spitting things also but that has stopped as he got older. The only time he does it now is if I put him in time out and forcefully keep him there. I know that is so not the right thing for him and me but I find I only do it if I am at the end of my rope and completely ready to lose it.
    Please know that I am not saying that you are on the same path as us, but wanted you to know that I faced the same thing at 3 1/2 and wished I had listened to pedi and saught help then rather than now.

    There are alot of great people with great advice on this board, I hope you get some answers soon, hang in there.
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there.

    Can you give us some background on your little boy? Was he always difficult? How was his birth? Anything change in his life?
  4. Carebear

    Carebear New Member

    He hasn't always been difficult, this is a pretty recent event. We've been down this road before with him but was able to nip it quickly. My only feeling is that his fathers schedule has changed at work and I'm thinking he's just sick of me and isn't really "mad" at me. I think he just doesn't know how to handle his emotions. He doesn't do any of this at school it's mostly at home and only directed at me. However, the listening issues have always been there. He's very stubborn and wants it done his way. I try choices and having included in all decisions which can be exhausting but works most of the time. He's just not getting the no hitting concept.
  5. Carebear

    Carebear New Member

    Thanks for some insite, I talked with his pedi and he said let's just keep an eye on things and see how they go. If the behavior continues then we will intervene. I'm pretty confident in this decision but I want to help him before we get to that point. It's a bit scary for me as you an imagine.

  6. keista

    keista New Member

    You've heard of the terrible twos? Welcome to the torrential threes. This could be "normal" or it could be something. Great that you are being proactive and looking for answers even if the pediatrician "poo poos" you - doctors don't have to live with our kids, we do.

    When he does get angry, how long does it last?
    do you mean he will be perfectly fine and then start this, or he does this when he is angry and you don't know where he got the idea?

    Welcome, this is a great place to find support and insights to difficult kids.
  7. Carebear

    Carebear New Member

    I have heard that 3's can be worse and I'm sure he's just fighting for his own voice but man this is insane! He does it mostly when he's upset and it is new behavior. The thing that kills me is that he thinks it's funny and for a mom it scares me. Is he going to be one of those kids you hear about on tv that takes out an entire school? I know I'm getting crazy worries about this but it's so out of character. His pedi is really great and totally didn't push me aside with my concerns and actually personally called me back to talk to me further about it so I felt pretty good about it.

  8. keista

    keista New Member

    YAY! Glad to hear your Dr is a good one. I believe that the earlier we catch things in our kids the better chance they (and we as parents) have. This is not to say that all problems can be fixed, or solved or even have a positive outcome, but I do believe with early intervention - even if the outcome isn't the best - it's better that it would have been.

    I think this is a perfectly normal worry for a caring and involved mom. You want to do everything you can to prevent that kind of situation. Welcome to the club!
  9. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Hi Carebear,
    Changes always are hard for most,especially for our little ones! I was wandering the same thing as keista, how long do his tantrums last? Im also so happy that you have a concerned pediatrician! And my son is now 5, and has slowed down his rage, started very young also. Good luck!