so last night, I decided to check his email. Of course this was right before heading to friends for the evening... why do I pick such bad times??? Anyway, it looks like lots of e trmsfers and I'm pretty sure he is dealing again. He hasn't had a real job in over 18 months. I am not naive, there is no way his "under he table" job with the mechanic is paying enough. In the fall he had his student loan so we knew he had money from that, and according to his email there were no transfers.... then he quit. Almost immediately the transfers started up. Some familiar names from his addiction days... when he was using harder drugs. I had been thinking he was "off" again. He has quit school, and we haven't heard much from him since Xmas break. When I did talk to him, I could feel something wasn't right. Sitting last night at our friends, their two boys are the exact ages of ours, they were raised together, we did everything as families, trips, hockey, weekends... very very close. Growing up these boys were essentially their best friends. Two oldest lived together first year university, both got into drugs but their son choose to get clean, and he is now working, almost done his computer science degree, great girlfriend... etc... youngest struggled too but he is now in engineering, great girlfriend, you get the idea. They were both in and out that night, and my heart hurt seeing them so happy and doing so well. What did we do different????? So, we plan on confronting him today. I don't believed in pretending it isn't happening. We will tell him no use of any of our cars, including the one his brother has for work. He sometimes used it when brother wasn't. I was so angry last night I was ready to tell him to move away.... go away. We live in a fairly small city and I am a teacher and know so many people. I often feel when people see me "they know". Gossip is the fabric of small towns.... I'm sick of feeling like this. If he chooses to continue this , then I want him to go far away.... I feel like a bad mother, I'm so sick of him. He was given every damn opportunity and privilege in life. He is smart and capable.... there are no excuses anymore for his choices. I know he probably will deny it all and make up some stupid excuse. But I'm done. I'm so done. Any advice before we speak to him? My poor husband is on the brink of depression, he has never struggled before . I feel myself becoming bitter and angry. I don't want to be around my friends anymore , it actually hurts my heart to see how well their kids are doing , I know that sounds terrible, inwoiod never wish this upon any of them, I just feel like I can't handle the pain, so easier to stay away.