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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 706540" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Colleen:</p><p></p><p>I too have friends with sons our sons age and hate myself that I feel like you do and ask what we did wrong and cringe when their sons are around or they talk about them. My husband feels the same way. We'll have the discussion on the way home in the car. We are all good people. It's not our fault. I blamed myself for many many years. My husband and I blamed each other too. We don't do that anymore.</p><p></p><p>Like everyone says and you KNOW, you cannot control what he does. He is doing what he wants to do. Period. Hard to understand and believe. I know it is. It's all disgusting really. My son is far away and I like it. Does that make me a horrible mom? I don't think so and I don't really care anymore. Our son is doing much better away but I don't know what his day to day life is like and I don't want to know. I block him from any contact with me when he upsets me. I do it for a month or so or however long I feel like doing it. This upsets him. Good.</p><p></p><p>Not sure how things went with your discussion with your son. Let us know.</p><p></p><p>Mintchip so sorry for the loss of your husband. Our Difficult Child don't see how much they hurt us or stress us. That is why I have changed. I can't let what he does control my feelings and mood anymore. I do believe in God and I thank God that I found this forum and that my husband and I were able to do what we did to get our son away from us and on his own where he has accountability. I am SO very thankful for that each and every day and I am humbled.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 706540, member: 15032"] Colleen: I too have friends with sons our sons age and hate myself that I feel like you do and ask what we did wrong and cringe when their sons are around or they talk about them. My husband feels the same way. We'll have the discussion on the way home in the car. We are all good people. It's not our fault. I blamed myself for many many years. My husband and I blamed each other too. We don't do that anymore. Like everyone says and you KNOW, you cannot control what he does. He is doing what he wants to do. Period. Hard to understand and believe. I know it is. It's all disgusting really. My son is far away and I like it. Does that make me a horrible mom? I don't think so and I don't really care anymore. Our son is doing much better away but I don't know what his day to day life is like and I don't want to know. I block him from any contact with me when he upsets me. I do it for a month or so or however long I feel like doing it. This upsets him. Good. Not sure how things went with your discussion with your son. Let us know. Mintchip so sorry for the loss of your husband. Our Difficult Child don't see how much they hurt us or stress us. That is why I have changed. I can't let what he does control my feelings and mood anymore. I do believe in God and I thank God that I found this forum and that my husband and I were able to do what we did to get our son away from us and on his own where he has accountability. I am SO very thankful for that each and every day and I am humbled. [/QUOTE]
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