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Substance Abuse
What was your first reaction...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 503051" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>when you found out your child was using drugs?</p><p></p><p>husband and I were just talking about some of the mistakes we made with our difficult child Boys when we first found out they were using drugs at age 13/15. </p><p>I was very scared...and tried to control them with fear mostly. </p><p>I also took their behavior personally. I felt their behavior was a reflection of ME and how I must have messed up or done something wrong in parenting them. I was angry at how all of my efforts had failed. </p><p></p><p>In hindsight...husband and I wish we could have looked at them and said: </p><p>"I know where this leads AND what the answer is...and it is out there...but you must find it for yourself."</p><p></p><p>Now I know this is probably a controversial approach as it may seem to give "permission" to the use. That is not what I am suggesting at all. But honestly, can/could ANY of us control their pursuit of drugs. </p><p>Sure we try rehab and different programs, jail, hospitals etc...we have to. This is what society tells us we must do. But bottom line is...we can't control addiction in our child/children. They have to come to the conclusion/solution on their own. </p><p></p><p>So what was your first reaction? Were you like me: Afraid, Taking it Personally, Trying to Control? </p><p>Just curious...</p><p>And what would you do or say differently now based on all the years and what you have learned?</p><p></p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 503051, member: 3305"] when you found out your child was using drugs? husband and I were just talking about some of the mistakes we made with our difficult child Boys when we first found out they were using drugs at age 13/15. I was very scared...and tried to control them with fear mostly. I also took their behavior personally. I felt their behavior was a reflection of ME and how I must have messed up or done something wrong in parenting them. I was angry at how all of my efforts had failed. In hindsight...husband and I wish we could have looked at them and said: "I know where this leads AND what the answer is...and it is out there...but you must find it for yourself." Now I know this is probably a controversial approach as it may seem to give "permission" to the use. That is not what I am suggesting at all. But honestly, can/could ANY of us control their pursuit of drugs. Sure we try rehab and different programs, jail, hospitals etc...we have to. This is what society tells us we must do. But bottom line is...we can't control addiction in our child/children. They have to come to the conclusion/solution on their own. So what was your first reaction? Were you like me: Afraid, Taking it Personally, Trying to Control? Just curious... And what would you do or say differently now based on all the years and what you have learned? LMS [/QUOTE]
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