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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 503069" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>Well, I caught my difficult child with 2 other students from the school where I teach, smoking pot at my home. It was during a school assembly and she was missing. I went home to see if she was there. I was in shock...utter shock. I knew she was struggling, but no idea about pot. I had to turn them in. It was the right thing to do. I took them back to school, called the resource officer and they were charged. The mother of the other girl was livid with me. She was an ex-meth adict and her husband was in jail for dealing. She was the pot provoder. The boy's dad was a dealer and the boy well know to the courts. </p><p></p><p>So I was tough. The law is the law and I was a teacher and they were sluffing and using. What else could I have done but took them back and lied for them? No way. It was the beginning of the downward spiral and the bottom has not been reached yet. That was 3 years ago. I have called the police every time I have found paraphenelia or drugs. They do nothing if it is in my home. Apparently we have no proof it is hers????</p><p></p><p>Yes I was affraid. Yes I controlled. We went to all extremes, took out the house phone. Locked down everything, husband took a night job so we would always have someone home etc.. We became an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and were exhausted. She just started leaving school to do what she was going to do. We did 2 RTCs. I still struggle with control. I am a structured person. Our home is and my classroom is. But it isn't going to stop her and I know this. I just cant stop wanting to be a mom like other moms and hoping she will turn a corner and respond. We get double messages as well. From the therapists, dO this, structure this, and then with 12 step, let go of this, take care of yourself, etc...</p><p></p><p>I will only discuss if she is willing to sit and not cuss or yell. When this starts I am done. I listen. I don't believe any promises, I offer support when it is appropriate and not enabling (the line is grey and shady here), and yes I worry like I always have. I am still in recovery and trauma and I am not following the 12 steps purely. </p><p></p><p>What I would do differently is to listen more, judge less and trust myself. The professionals made me doubt myself and they all had different reasons why I should. I would not doubt my mother gut ever again!</p><p></p><p>This is hard isn't it?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 503069, member: 11001"] Well, I caught my difficult child with 2 other students from the school where I teach, smoking pot at my home. It was during a school assembly and she was missing. I went home to see if she was there. I was in shock...utter shock. I knew she was struggling, but no idea about pot. I had to turn them in. It was the right thing to do. I took them back to school, called the resource officer and they were charged. The mother of the other girl was livid with me. She was an ex-meth adict and her husband was in jail for dealing. She was the pot provoder. The boy's dad was a dealer and the boy well know to the courts. So I was tough. The law is the law and I was a teacher and they were sluffing and using. What else could I have done but took them back and lied for them? No way. It was the beginning of the downward spiral and the bottom has not been reached yet. That was 3 years ago. I have called the police every time I have found paraphenelia or drugs. They do nothing if it is in my home. Apparently we have no proof it is hers???? Yes I was affraid. Yes I controlled. We went to all extremes, took out the house phone. Locked down everything, husband took a night job so we would always have someone home etc.. We became an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and were exhausted. She just started leaving school to do what she was going to do. We did 2 RTCs. I still struggle with control. I am a structured person. Our home is and my classroom is. But it isn't going to stop her and I know this. I just cant stop wanting to be a mom like other moms and hoping she will turn a corner and respond. We get double messages as well. From the therapists, dO this, structure this, and then with 12 step, let go of this, take care of yourself, etc... I will only discuss if she is willing to sit and not cuss or yell. When this starts I am done. I listen. I don't believe any promises, I offer support when it is appropriate and not enabling (the line is grey and shady here), and yes I worry like I always have. I am still in recovery and trauma and I am not following the 12 steps purely. What I would do differently is to listen more, judge less and trust myself. The professionals made me doubt myself and they all had different reasons why I should. I would not doubt my mother gut ever again! This is hard isn't it? [/QUOTE]
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