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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 503134"><p>Um, a couple of red flags but really nothing major. I consider the citation a true gift from God. It was the summer going into junior year, he had a brand new driver's license, pretty girlfriend who adored him - the red flags were easily explained away by a new found sense of teen bravado. We caught him in a few lies, he was being a bit difficult (wanted a later curfew, etc) but nothing out of the norm for a teenager. The night we got the call from the police department - he had told us he was going to the movies with friends. We got the call at 9:30 pm - so the party had not gotten out of control; I am sure a later breathalyzer wouldn't have been so favorable. A bunch of kids ran, but difficult child remained calm, was exceedingly polite with the police and told the kids around him to just sit down and relax and do what the police said. In fact, the police told us he was a really great kid and were appreciative of his cooperation and calm head. </p><p></p><p>That said, he was like a deer in headlights when we picked him up. The moment he got home and we sat him down and asked what the heck was going on - he blabbed and wouldn't stop. We learned all about the parties, who was where, when he had gotten drunk, "remember that night when I came home and said I blah blah blah...well, I was really drunk/ hungover etc"</p><p></p><p>Some mother instinct in me made me ask "what about drugs? Tomorrow, we will take you to Dr. H for a drug test, so it's better for you if you tell us now..." Honestly, I think I was bluffing. I thought he would cop to smoking some pot and that would be it. And I don't know what prompted me to ask. But that's how it went... and when he talked about Xanax - I almost had a heart attack. </p><p></p><p>We are lucky that our school takes a pretty firm but supportive stand. And I told every parent that I knew. I wanted them to know that if they saw difficult child behaving oddly or heard about a party - that WE CARED AND IT WASN'T OK with us. </p><p></p><p>The hardest lesson learned was that he was pressured to turn in the kids who fled. In our athletic conference, merely attending a party where alcohol or drugs are present is a code violation whether or not you partake. difficult child's best friend had fled and was also on the football team and played the same position. difficult child pressured his friend to turn himself in - but he did not and difficult child did not turn him in. When difficult child lost his special teams position due to the violation - his best friend got it. When a star player got injured at the state game, difficult child's boyfriend replaced him instead of difficult child. It was a hard lesson and I am not sure it benefited difficult child.</p><p></p><p>Edited to add - we also had noticed some alcohol missing - a few beers (Didn't we just buy a twelve pack - why are there only a few left?") and some vodka - I had made penne alla vodka and noticed we were almost out - but I hadn't thought much of it. We are not big drinkers - we had a lot of beer on hand that summer because we had just moved in and had people helping us out & stopping by and it was nice to offer them a cold beer on a hot summer's day. The Tuesday I spent all day on the phone calling Tdocs was also the day the locksmith added locks to the liquor cabinet.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 503134"] Um, a couple of red flags but really nothing major. I consider the citation a true gift from God. It was the summer going into junior year, he had a brand new driver's license, pretty girlfriend who adored him - the red flags were easily explained away by a new found sense of teen bravado. We caught him in a few lies, he was being a bit difficult (wanted a later curfew, etc) but nothing out of the norm for a teenager. The night we got the call from the police department - he had told us he was going to the movies with friends. We got the call at 9:30 pm - so the party had not gotten out of control; I am sure a later breathalyzer wouldn't have been so favorable. A bunch of kids ran, but difficult child remained calm, was exceedingly polite with the police and told the kids around him to just sit down and relax and do what the police said. In fact, the police told us he was a really great kid and were appreciative of his cooperation and calm head. That said, he was like a deer in headlights when we picked him up. The moment he got home and we sat him down and asked what the heck was going on - he blabbed and wouldn't stop. We learned all about the parties, who was where, when he had gotten drunk, "remember that night when I came home and said I blah blah blah...well, I was really drunk/ hungover etc" Some mother instinct in me made me ask "what about drugs? Tomorrow, we will take you to Dr. H for a drug test, so it's better for you if you tell us now..." Honestly, I think I was bluffing. I thought he would cop to smoking some pot and that would be it. And I don't know what prompted me to ask. But that's how it went... and when he talked about Xanax - I almost had a heart attack. We are lucky that our school takes a pretty firm but supportive stand. And I told every parent that I knew. I wanted them to know that if they saw difficult child behaving oddly or heard about a party - that WE CARED AND IT WASN'T OK with us. The hardest lesson learned was that he was pressured to turn in the kids who fled. In our athletic conference, merely attending a party where alcohol or drugs are present is a code violation whether or not you partake. difficult child's best friend had fled and was also on the football team and played the same position. difficult child pressured his friend to turn himself in - but he did not and difficult child did not turn him in. When difficult child lost his special teams position due to the violation - his best friend got it. When a star player got injured at the state game, difficult child's boyfriend replaced him instead of difficult child. It was a hard lesson and I am not sure it benefited difficult child. Edited to add - we also had noticed some alcohol missing - a few beers (Didn't we just buy a twelve pack - why are there only a few left?") and some vodka - I had made penne alla vodka and noticed we were almost out - but I hadn't thought much of it. We are not big drinkers - we had a lot of beer on hand that summer because we had just moved in and had people helping us out & stopping by and it was nice to offer them a cold beer on a hot summer's day. The Tuesday I spent all day on the phone calling Tdocs was also the day the locksmith added locks to the liquor cabinet. [/QUOTE]
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