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What was your most difficult boundary to set AND enforce?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 365825" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>For me the absolute hardest thing is no second chances. Once it is a rule it is a rule. There is not a time we can stop enforcing a rule because there is not a time he will stop testing a rule. If one rule is given an exception then we start at ground zero all over again because he "decides" that all the rules are null and void forever from that point.</p><p></p><p>One reason it is SO HARD is that almost every single therapist, psychiatrist, teacher, counselor, etc says make it Basket A and when it is a habit move it out of Basket A and make something else Basket A. The idea is that if you enforce no popsicles on the furniture for a period of time it will eventually be something the difficult child follows with-o thinking about it so you can then ignore it or make exceptions. It is incredibly hard to admit to yourself that if you ever again allow difficult child to LOOK at the furniture while he has a popsicle, even 10 years later with NO exceptions ever given, then every rule will stop existing in his mind. </p><p></p><p>Getting extended family to realize this is almost impossible. My mother has a few things she is "working" with difficult child on. Quite a few of them are the same as she was working on four years ago. She will swear one minute that he has grown and matured and these things mostly are not problems. Then, ten minutes later she starts to tell me each of the items that he is doing that are problems. They are the same stuff over and over. It makes me very sad.</p><p></p><p>I often wonder exactly why he has to keep doing the same stuff over again. I doubt that any answer would help in any way.</p><p></p><p>Bean, Kudos to you and husband for telling difficult child she cannot be there to eat and sleep all day and then spend all night out partying. Stick to your guns!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 365825, member: 1233"] For me the absolute hardest thing is no second chances. Once it is a rule it is a rule. There is not a time we can stop enforcing a rule because there is not a time he will stop testing a rule. If one rule is given an exception then we start at ground zero all over again because he "decides" that all the rules are null and void forever from that point. One reason it is SO HARD is that almost every single therapist, psychiatrist, teacher, counselor, etc says make it Basket A and when it is a habit move it out of Basket A and make something else Basket A. The idea is that if you enforce no popsicles on the furniture for a period of time it will eventually be something the difficult child follows with-o thinking about it so you can then ignore it or make exceptions. It is incredibly hard to admit to yourself that if you ever again allow difficult child to LOOK at the furniture while he has a popsicle, even 10 years later with NO exceptions ever given, then every rule will stop existing in his mind. Getting extended family to realize this is almost impossible. My mother has a few things she is "working" with difficult child on. Quite a few of them are the same as she was working on four years ago. She will swear one minute that he has grown and matured and these things mostly are not problems. Then, ten minutes later she starts to tell me each of the items that he is doing that are problems. They are the same stuff over and over. It makes me very sad. I often wonder exactly why he has to keep doing the same stuff over again. I doubt that any answer would help in any way. Bean, Kudos to you and husband for telling difficult child she cannot be there to eat and sleep all day and then spend all night out partying. Stick to your guns! [/QUOTE]
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What was your most difficult boundary to set AND enforce?
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