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What was your most difficult boundary to set AND enforce?
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<blockquote data-quote="emotionallybankrupt" data-source="post: 366215" data-attributes="member: 8226"><p>The most difficult one for me was to RE-SET the boundary for physical violence and intimidation, the raging in the common area of the house.</p><p> </p><p>I know this may or may not have been a smart way to handle this. Could have backfired in my face, and it probably would have by now if she'd not moved out. But I finally told her I could no longer keep any self-respect as long as I continued to slink away when she behaved like that and that she WOULD go to her room and have her fit in there by herself. I remember one defining moment when I wouldn't allow SOMETHING--don't even remember what--and as I continued to say no, she moved closer, refusing to back off, and eventually was towering over me as I sat in a chair. I stood up right in her face where we were practically nose to nose, put my arms behind my back, and literally backed her into her room, pushing her with my chest as she yelled at me to back off and not to "touch" her, told me I had no right to tell her where to go in this house, and threatened to put me in the hospital. I told her she'd just have to do what she had to do, and I would do the same. Also reminded her that if I were in the hospital, there'd be no telling where she'd go, as no legal authority would allow her to stay in the house while I was in the hospital.</p><p> </p><p>Smart or stupid, it worked. I think she was so absolutely shocked that she didn't know what to do. BUT I also think she saw me in a different light from that day on, because she knew she wasn't going to be the very effective bully anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="emotionallybankrupt, post: 366215, member: 8226"] The most difficult one for me was to RE-SET the boundary for physical violence and intimidation, the raging in the common area of the house. I know this may or may not have been a smart way to handle this. Could have backfired in my face, and it probably would have by now if she'd not moved out. But I finally told her I could no longer keep any self-respect as long as I continued to slink away when she behaved like that and that she WOULD go to her room and have her fit in there by herself. I remember one defining moment when I wouldn't allow SOMETHING--don't even remember what--and as I continued to say no, she moved closer, refusing to back off, and eventually was towering over me as I sat in a chair. I stood up right in her face where we were practically nose to nose, put my arms behind my back, and literally backed her into her room, pushing her with my chest as she yelled at me to back off and not to "touch" her, told me I had no right to tell her where to go in this house, and threatened to put me in the hospital. I told her she'd just have to do what she had to do, and I would do the same. Also reminded her that if I were in the hospital, there'd be no telling where she'd go, as no legal authority would allow her to stay in the house while I was in the hospital. Smart or stupid, it worked. I think she was so absolutely shocked that she didn't know what to do. BUT I also think she saw me in a different light from that day on, because she knew she wasn't going to be the very effective bully anymore. [/QUOTE]
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What was your most difficult boundary to set AND enforce?
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