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<blockquote data-quote="Anna1345" data-source="post: 99457" data-attributes="member: 4292"><p>You really are staying strong and I commend you for doing everything you can to change for YOU. It is awful not knowing and not having the patience to wait. I am like that. I think that because I can not control the situation, I go batty waiting for a result. I often find that children who grow up eventually have to say "Yup, I've had a tough life and rough patch but now I need to act like an adult." Those who do not do this, usually wind up in trouble. It is probably a combination with your son of mental illness AND addiction. I find one usually feeds the other. Just like he has his own addictions, he is your addiction. You need to get help for that like he needs help for himself. </p><p></p><p>As for telling the mother, I would not approach her. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you want his Mommy coming to his rescue so he can get off easier? He is a grown up and made his own decisions, now she will probably feel sorry for the pain he has caused you , but it does NOT negate his actions and it is his problem. </p><p></p><p>I do not agree with Bailing him out either. If he were totally innocent and really was being falsely accused, that is a different story. However, he has 3 hots and a cot, time to think and really reevaluate himself. And if he doesn't do that, then maybe nothing will make him do that. </p><p></p><p>Also keep in mind, you have two other children who love you and depend on you. They need you right now just as much as he does. They truly deserve all this energy you put into him, being put into them. </p><p></p><p>You are a stronger person then you know. Just remember, little by little, step by step, one by one.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Anna1345, post: 99457, member: 4292"] You really are staying strong and I commend you for doing everything you can to change for YOU. It is awful not knowing and not having the patience to wait. I am like that. I think that because I can not control the situation, I go batty waiting for a result. I often find that children who grow up eventually have to say "Yup, I've had a tough life and rough patch but now I need to act like an adult." Those who do not do this, usually wind up in trouble. It is probably a combination with your son of mental illness AND addiction. I find one usually feeds the other. Just like he has his own addictions, he is your addiction. You need to get help for that like he needs help for himself. As for telling the mother, I would not approach her. Put yourself in her shoes. Would you want his Mommy coming to his rescue so he can get off easier? He is a grown up and made his own decisions, now she will probably feel sorry for the pain he has caused you , but it does NOT negate his actions and it is his problem. I do not agree with Bailing him out either. If he were totally innocent and really was being falsely accused, that is a different story. However, he has 3 hots and a cot, time to think and really reevaluate himself. And if he doesn't do that, then maybe nothing will make him do that. Also keep in mind, you have two other children who love you and depend on you. They need you right now just as much as he does. They truly deserve all this energy you put into him, being put into them. You are a stronger person then you know. Just remember, little by little, step by step, one by one. [/QUOTE]
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