Hello, everyone! I've been lurking here a little, and have to say I love how supportive everyone is. I was hoping to find some tips from some of you to help with my 14 year old son. He is the oldest of 3, and there is definitely disturbance in his early childhood, divorce, moves and continued problems related to their father, who was and is an emotional abuser (his communication skills include deflect, gaslight and steamroll). He is diagnosed with moderate childhood onset conduct disorder, 6 months ago, and has continuously been diagnosed with adjustment disorder since the age of 6. The most recent evaluating Dr's believe the adjustment disorder is ongoing because of continued inconsistency and conflict surrounding their father being a trigger. He is not prescribed any medications. My son is in counseling, with limited success. We have made several changes at the suggestion of the counselor, but it seems the calmer and more reasonable we are, the angrier and more hostile he gets. He has a history of violence towards me and his siblings, which we curbed by threatening to involve the police if he put his hands on us again. He lies about doing homework and chores, and gets angry when called on the lies. The main problem is the storytelling. He routinely makes up horrific stories to try and punish us for the slightest correction. He tells people he's been hit, cursed at, whatever he thinks will gain him sympathy. It's tearing our family apart. I know for a fact that this boy hates me and wants to have a negative feeling associated with me. He will not talk to me or answer when I talk except when he wants something, or wants someone to listen to him talk, never about anything "deep, usually just what he did in PE or something. He will sometimes talk to my husband, the only honorable father figure he has. Then he gets all put out if he has to wait because someone else already has my attention (I work like the DMV, take a number and get in line, first come, first serve to be fair) and will say I ignore him. He is horrible at social cues, and often kills conversations trying to join them, so I know school is hard for him too, especially since he views teachers who expect him to show up prepared and do his work as "mean" or "hard". He just started hs, and I've already had an email about him being disruptive in class and not doing his work. He has currently been ignoring a long term assignment for nearly 3 weeks because he chose a book that is ill suited to the project. He seems to be at his happiest when he has made someone else hurt. I'm getting ready to give up and send the boy to his father's to live, even though I know he will only get worse under his father's care, because his father does all the exact same things and will not even consider the possibility that there is a problem. I know this would not be best for him, but the way he treats us is not good for the rest of us. I struggle every day to choose to love him, but I'm afraid my feelings sometimes show, in a sigh when he speaks for example, or an impatient answer when I'm irritated with him. How do you deal with teens who lie or manipulate to hurt and attack, and maybe, more importantly, how do you deal with your own feelings of hurt and resentment your teen's behavior brings?