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What would YOU do???
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 102262" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>If your husband won't share what is going on the problem cannot be addressed. Life with a difficult child is stressful; life with any chronic illness is stressful.</p><p></p><p>However, husband is part of the family. As part of this family unit, he is either a part of the problem or a part of the solution.</p><p></p><p>And saying that, my husband buried his head in the sand as long as he could before everything blew up in our faces. I'm not one for ultimatums however, I had to give one & I had to carry through.</p><p></p><p>The summer of 2006 while kt was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & wm was safely tucked away at his group home, husband willingly went into rehab. He additionally started attending marriage counseling. </p><p></p><p>This wasn't easily achieved & I had to remember my reactions to husband's choices & behaviors. I knew that if I stepped over a line husband would not enter theray or rehab.</p><p></p><p>husband is over 1 year sober - he has stepped up to the plate & taken a great deal of our difficult children issues on. The fact is that my illness has forced the issue with him & he hasn't let me down, for which I'm thankful. </p><p></p><p>Many of us have been in your position. Sometimes things work out - other times they don't. </p><p></p><p>However, many times, in the midst of GFGdom, our marriages get lost. Our promise to our life partner gets buried under the burdens of caring for a child who's out of control & under the family spotlight.</p><p></p><p>In the past year I've learned that for survival I've had to do the following:</p><p></p><p>1. Take care of me.</p><p>2. Nurture my marriage - our children (difficult child or not) will have left home to start their own lives - I want my spouse at my side when that time comes.</p><p>3. Raise my children; with all the work, love & tears that come with being a parent.</p><p></p><p>Just my take on this.</p><p></p><p>Good luck - I hope things calm down for you today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 102262, member: 393"] If your husband won't share what is going on the problem cannot be addressed. Life with a difficult child is stressful; life with any chronic illness is stressful. However, husband is part of the family. As part of this family unit, he is either a part of the problem or a part of the solution. And saying that, my husband buried his head in the sand as long as he could before everything blew up in our faces. I'm not one for ultimatums however, I had to give one & I had to carry through. The summer of 2006 while kt was in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & wm was safely tucked away at his group home, husband willingly went into rehab. He additionally started attending marriage counseling. This wasn't easily achieved & I had to remember my reactions to husband's choices & behaviors. I knew that if I stepped over a line husband would not enter theray or rehab. husband is over 1 year sober - he has stepped up to the plate & taken a great deal of our difficult children issues on. The fact is that my illness has forced the issue with him & he hasn't let me down, for which I'm thankful. Many of us have been in your position. Sometimes things work out - other times they don't. However, many times, in the midst of GFGdom, our marriages get lost. Our promise to our life partner gets buried under the burdens of caring for a child who's out of control & under the family spotlight. In the past year I've learned that for survival I've had to do the following: 1. Take care of me. 2. Nurture my marriage - our children (difficult child or not) will have left home to start their own lives - I want my spouse at my side when that time comes. 3. Raise my children; with all the work, love & tears that come with being a parent. Just my take on this. Good luck - I hope things calm down for you today. [/QUOTE]
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