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<blockquote data-quote="ruppertk" data-source="post: 622532" data-attributes="member: 17770"><p>Reading your son's email here reminds me of my daughter who is one year older than him. Appears the mentality is similar although my daughter would have added in more nasty things to say to me.</p><p>short story:</p><p> Two years ago her father and I were separated and divorce papers on their way. He had a new lady and our marriage was in their way of getting married. It was a time of scrambling and figuring out what to do, get a better job, and other things. I had my 2 girls in tow. My oldest at the time 18 had a car we paid 250 a month for and iphone and lifestyle. I started explaining get ready for changes, your father and I are unstable. Suddenly karma arrived and he got fired, 250k a yr gone in instant. Then I say Okay to my 18 yr old(who is employed) now bigger changes are upon us, you'll need to pay half your car note and your cel phone. I heard a lot of Oh no im not! You and Dad better pay blah blah. I say listen it doesn't work that way... 2 days pass.. This child came home and says "look at my new tattoo was only 350$"</p><p>Ya'll ever seen Me myself and Irene with Jim Carey? I turned into Hank, I had an out of body experience in a sense. Never in my life had I went from the meek, enabling, people pleasing mother TO Detachment in an instant. the size and cost of this tattoo transformed me. That day I politely with no yelling no flipping out said to this queen "I see that you are doing well in life and apparently are rich I asked you to not get anymore tattoos and since you remind me regularly that you are 18 I shall let you have 18, your making good money time for you to get a room mate. "fine" she says. walks over to get the keys and her phone, I say Oh those stay here. She says you cant take my car.. I said join the airforce. She called her friend to pick her up( if she had just stayed home and was sorry of course the enabler would have gave in) she left. Its been 2 years. These kids dont want to go without a cel phone, she had one quickly. there are times of course I miss her and little voices of regret but I came out with an answer to my regret and heart, this is what I say; I have done my job, loved and taught and guided what is left to be taught only the world can teach her now. She knows I love her and I know she loves me. She sucksup to dad nowadays as he makes a lot more money, that's ok too, things and money can not fill the hole. Most everything in our lives circle back around, I know this will. In the meantime I refer to "hank" when I get weak.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ruppertk, post: 622532, member: 17770"] Reading your son's email here reminds me of my daughter who is one year older than him. Appears the mentality is similar although my daughter would have added in more nasty things to say to me. short story: Two years ago her father and I were separated and divorce papers on their way. He had a new lady and our marriage was in their way of getting married. It was a time of scrambling and figuring out what to do, get a better job, and other things. I had my 2 girls in tow. My oldest at the time 18 had a car we paid 250 a month for and iphone and lifestyle. I started explaining get ready for changes, your father and I are unstable. Suddenly karma arrived and he got fired, 250k a yr gone in instant. Then I say Okay to my 18 yr old(who is employed) now bigger changes are upon us, you'll need to pay half your car note and your cel phone. I heard a lot of Oh no im not! You and Dad better pay blah blah. I say listen it doesn't work that way... 2 days pass.. This child came home and says "look at my new tattoo was only 350$" Ya'll ever seen Me myself and Irene with Jim Carey? I turned into Hank, I had an out of body experience in a sense. Never in my life had I went from the meek, enabling, people pleasing mother TO Detachment in an instant. the size and cost of this tattoo transformed me. That day I politely with no yelling no flipping out said to this queen "I see that you are doing well in life and apparently are rich I asked you to not get anymore tattoos and since you remind me regularly that you are 18 I shall let you have 18, your making good money time for you to get a room mate. "fine" she says. walks over to get the keys and her phone, I say Oh those stay here. She says you cant take my car.. I said join the airforce. She called her friend to pick her up( if she had just stayed home and was sorry of course the enabler would have gave in) she left. Its been 2 years. These kids dont want to go without a cel phone, she had one quickly. there are times of course I miss her and little voices of regret but I came out with an answer to my regret and heart, this is what I say; I have done my job, loved and taught and guided what is left to be taught only the world can teach her now. She knows I love her and I know she loves me. She sucksup to dad nowadays as he makes a lot more money, that's ok too, things and money can not fill the hole. Most everything in our lives circle back around, I know this will. In the meantime I refer to "hank" when I get weak. [/QUOTE]
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