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What's happening to me in detachment...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 621990" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think you did great.</p><p></p><p>There are no guarantees in the future for adults who are into drugs. None. That's why "one day at a time" is the mantra of many of us. Even the mentally ill young adults are just as iffy. Stability is not something we moms can count on when our adult kids have instabilities. So each good day is precious.</p><p></p><p>When I talk to 36, who is probably the most unstable person I have ever met, I never know if we will finish our conversation or if I will have to hang up due to him cussing, using words about female parts, insulting me, yelling, etc. or if he will hang up because he thinks I am saying something "stupid" (a word I hate). If a new crisis pops up tomorrow with his life, I may have constant suicide threats on my hands, which is obviously scary. I believe he could try to commit suicide when under stress if he feels it is hopeless and what can I do? It is rarely your normal child/parent conversation with 36. Every day I also have to decide how much I will talk to him. He often still wants me to make decisions for him and when I either won't or can't, he will swear and hang up. Its' like dealing with a dangerous toddler who could do himself harm. And perhaps under REALLY bad situations he could harm another. It may be silly, but I still remember how he used to hurt other kids when he was younger just because they beat him in a game or said something he didn't like. I remember how abnormal the amount of porn in his room and computer was after he left home and we finally broke into the room that he kept locked 100% of the time. I think about certain things that haunt me and I wonder just how sick he is. There are things about him I can't even share with all of you. And he does drink a lot and take prescription Xanax too much....I don't want to know too much about that since I have no control over it.</p><p></p><p>So while we are in different places, dealing with different adult children, both who have different problems, we are still almost off balance with them. They can fill us with hope one day, then shoot us down the next. Since I have been at this longer than you, I have a better ability to just let it go and give it over to God. In my world, there is a God who watches over all of us. I call him a Higher Power and he could be a "she" but that higher power has to watch my child because I can't. Since you seem t o feel also that God is there, maybe you can picture him walking with your son, his arm around him.</p><p></p><p>Although you are newer here, you are one the wisest posters I've come across in my own journey. Your words have actually helped me and I hope I can help you back. I have the greatest respect for your ability to see things straight and to deal with them in a realistic way.</p><p></p><p>Disclaimer: Anything I say is just my opinion and if you like it, take it, if you don't, disregard it. We being our own experiences and opinions to this sharing table, but we don't force others to think like we do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 621990, member: 1550"] I think you did great. There are no guarantees in the future for adults who are into drugs. None. That's why "one day at a time" is the mantra of many of us. Even the mentally ill young adults are just as iffy. Stability is not something we moms can count on when our adult kids have instabilities. So each good day is precious. When I talk to 36, who is probably the most unstable person I have ever met, I never know if we will finish our conversation or if I will have to hang up due to him cussing, using words about female parts, insulting me, yelling, etc. or if he will hang up because he thinks I am saying something "stupid" (a word I hate). If a new crisis pops up tomorrow with his life, I may have constant suicide threats on my hands, which is obviously scary. I believe he could try to commit suicide when under stress if he feels it is hopeless and what can I do? It is rarely your normal child/parent conversation with 36. Every day I also have to decide how much I will talk to him. He often still wants me to make decisions for him and when I either won't or can't, he will swear and hang up. Its' like dealing with a dangerous toddler who could do himself harm. And perhaps under REALLY bad situations he could harm another. It may be silly, but I still remember how he used to hurt other kids when he was younger just because they beat him in a game or said something he didn't like. I remember how abnormal the amount of porn in his room and computer was after he left home and we finally broke into the room that he kept locked 100% of the time. I think about certain things that haunt me and I wonder just how sick he is. There are things about him I can't even share with all of you. And he does drink a lot and take prescription Xanax too much....I don't want to know too much about that since I have no control over it. So while we are in different places, dealing with different adult children, both who have different problems, we are still almost off balance with them. They can fill us with hope one day, then shoot us down the next. Since I have been at this longer than you, I have a better ability to just let it go and give it over to God. In my world, there is a God who watches over all of us. I call him a Higher Power and he could be a "she" but that higher power has to watch my child because I can't. Since you seem t o feel also that God is there, maybe you can picture him walking with your son, his arm around him. Although you are newer here, you are one the wisest posters I've come across in my own journey. Your words have actually helped me and I hope I can help you back. I have the greatest respect for your ability to see things straight and to deal with them in a realistic way. Disclaimer: Anything I say is just my opinion and if you like it, take it, if you don't, disregard it. We being our own experiences and opinions to this sharing table, but we don't force others to think like we do. [/QUOTE]
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