when becoming an old lonely spinster

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by amazeofgrace, Apr 10, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    with 100 cats sounds good................You need your Lexapro dose upped (yes I think I do):dissapointed:
  2. house of cards

    house of cards New Member

    Sounds good to me...either way, upping the lexapro or old (can't change it) lonely (no, I'll stay with you, some days jail seems like a better place to me although I don't really have personal knowledge) spinster (This equals out, no man/ no frustration with man"s thought process). OK, I'm not into cleaning 100 cat's litter boxes, how about dogs?
    Seriously, try to take care of yourself.
  3. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    So what's wrong with being a spinster with 100 cat? Actually, I'm a divorcee with 2 dogs but the thought is the same. I enjoy my own company, do what I want to do when I want to do it, spend my money the way I want, the pets don't leave the toilet seat up or run around with other women, and if they start growling at me I could have them put to sleep without my going to jail. Sounds like the perfect life to me.
  4. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member


    You said it muttmeister!

    Kinda makes sense to me too. (Except for the 100 cats part)
  5. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat


    There is a difference between being lonely and being alone.

    I am alone. And I am perfectly happy being alone. I am not a man hater or a man basher, I just know that at this point in my life, I am better off this way. I don't fault anyone, I don't regret anything, and I don't wish that it were any other way. I am finding myself. I know it sounds kitschy, but it is the truth. I was in my relationship with Matt for over 10 years. I lived and breathed him. I was Matt's wife.
    I had no identity of my own.

    I am using this time to decide what I like for me. When the time comes that I fins someone to share my life with again, it will be just that. Sharing my life. Not inhaling his exhale.

    Take time for you. Join a bible study. Go to AlAnon (I've been preaching that for awhile!). Sign up for a painting class. Join a book club. Do something for YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU once a week.

    The point is not to become stagnant and perfectly OK with being alone forever. The point is to be comfortable being alone, and not being lonely while you are alone. It will boost your self esteem. A guy would not mind dating a woman with 2 difficult children if she is holding her head high and is very sure of herself.

    Big hugs.
  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    100 cats might be a bit excessive. At that point people in suits come in and the neighbors start gawking and it's jut not pretty. Besides, that's a lot of litter box duty.

    Other than that, it sounds good to me.

    BBK made a lot of sense. When I was first divorced, I was lonely a lot. And for a lot of years. I cried myself to sleep often.

    I'm not lonely anymore and haven't been for a long time. I don't know when it happened, just that it did. I think when I stopped determining my value by a lack of a man in my life and by valuing myself for who I am. That took a long time.

    And of course, determining my value by whether or not I had a man made me make some really stupid choices when it came to men. I wasn't looking for someone I wanted to be with, I just didn't want to be alone.

    I *love* being single. It would take someone pretty extraordinary to make me change my status now.

    I remember years ago - when I was still making stupid men choices - friends telling me that I was too picky. :faint: I wasn't picky enough.

    I'm not willing to settle. I have no 'need' to. I don't feel a need to have someone in my life so when I decide to bring someone in it will be because I want to. And I will not again settle for less than I deserve.

    And neither should you. You're one tough lady with a loving and compassionate heart. You deserve someone that recognizes, respects and compliments that.

    The loneliness - it's part of the process you're going through - grieving, learning, reinventing yourself. You'll get there

  7. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Kitty and Heather said it well. I am in the same boat, I like being single now. Funny, I was just thinking about that today. I am pretty content hanging out with my 4 animals every night (and difficult child, which kinda makes a 5th:sheepish:).

    Seriously, I really have found peace with it, and I know you will too. It has only been such a short time without your X - give your self time to adjust and adapt, and find serenity. Then you will be ready to move on.

    With kids like ours, you kinda need to raise them anyway before a serious relationship. It sounds like a lot of time before that will happen, but it is not.

  8. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Great advice by all. I don't want to be lonely, but alone is very tempting.

  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I am now totally alone in the human department. Barring the worrying about my daughter, I am truly enjoying the me time. I can do what I want, when I want. I can clean in the middle of the night or not clean at all. It's up to me. I can putz on the puter, read a book, walk the dog, groom the cats, close the bedroom door and be totally alone. It is a good way to live.

    Being lonely stinks. I found that as I grew older, I got to like myself better. The more I liked me, the less apt I was to be lonely. I'm good company, even when I talk to myself, the TV or the critters. I laugh at my jokes (bad and otherwise). I dance around the rooms when I feel like it. I visit friends or do things by myself depending on my mood.

    So, give me spinsterhood and a couple of pets (100 cats is a bit much) over living with a drama queen or a man who knows he's dying when sick and expects me to live by his schedule. Quite simply, I. like. me. and my life as it is.
  10. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    thank you all,

    I am sick now which that and difficult child's very unstable behavior (both of them) has me down in the dumps again. There is very little "me" time. I do puzzles, read and watch my DWTS and Idol. That's about it. I am feeling in such poor health, being 100 pounds over weight and feeling very ugly. But I will get through it, somehow I always do.
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Geez...30? I'm way over the line. :faint: