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General Parenting
When do you feel a child needs to leave the home? When is enough enough?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 280428" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I don't think any of your kids did what this one did. Nor Fran's. I felt it was a choice between "my kids" and another kid who didn't really feel like my kid and didn't feel like we were his family. As it was, he didn't miss us. It was not the same as having raised this child from an early age. We hadn't. Nor had we given up. We knew he'd get help. We needed to protect our own kids. I haven't even touched how dangerous he was--a little glimpse that we found out after he left was that he'd hold his knife against our kid's throats and force them to have sex with each other. I didn't know it. Nobody from any of his old foster homes knew what he did. But once we knew, we felt it was way unsafe to keep him in our home. And we lost the desire to try to parent him. My other kids were terrified of him and all of us went through PTSD. Now if he had been our only child, we would have continued to help him in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but we had other kids who needed to heal and we did put them first. I've never been sorry. And there is nobody who can make me feel that it was a wrong decision because I never waver that it was the right thing to do for our family. Thanks for defending me, ML, but I don't believe I need to be defended...lol. This was sort of a generic question: What is too much for YOU? I see people keeping kids at home that I would never keep at home because they are dangerous. That's why I asked if there is a limit and what is it.</p><p></p><p>Regardless of whether or not he had been with us all our lives or been our biological child, he could not have lived at home after his sexual perpetration. That is my boundary--my limit. I protect the other kids and hope that one gets the help he needs...jmo.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 280428, member: 1550"] I don't think any of your kids did what this one did. Nor Fran's. I felt it was a choice between "my kids" and another kid who didn't really feel like my kid and didn't feel like we were his family. As it was, he didn't miss us. It was not the same as having raised this child from an early age. We hadn't. Nor had we given up. We knew he'd get help. We needed to protect our own kids. I haven't even touched how dangerous he was--a little glimpse that we found out after he left was that he'd hold his knife against our kid's throats and force them to have sex with each other. I didn't know it. Nobody from any of his old foster homes knew what he did. But once we knew, we felt it was way unsafe to keep him in our home. And we lost the desire to try to parent him. My other kids were terrified of him and all of us went through PTSD. Now if he had been our only child, we would have continued to help him in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC), but we had other kids who needed to heal and we did put them first. I've never been sorry. And there is nobody who can make me feel that it was a wrong decision because I never waver that it was the right thing to do for our family. Thanks for defending me, ML, but I don't believe I need to be defended...lol. This was sort of a generic question: What is too much for YOU? I see people keeping kids at home that I would never keep at home because they are dangerous. That's why I asked if there is a limit and what is it. Regardless of whether or not he had been with us all our lives or been our biological child, he could not have lived at home after his sexual perpetration. That is my boundary--my limit. I protect the other kids and hope that one gets the help he needs...jmo. [/QUOTE]
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When do you feel a child needs to leave the home? When is enough enough?
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