I think this could be an interesting discussion (and maybe not--maybe nobody will want to answer). But I'll try. This has been on my mind of late. Of late we've had posters who had difficult children that were even more difficult child than most, and I was wondering how much we, as parents, should take before we try to get them involved in out-of-home treatment both for their sakes and for the sakes of the kids who may still be there. As you know, when we adopted a child who did extremely dangerous and heinous things to my younger children, we sent him to Residential Treatment Center (RTC) as soon as we knew it--he didn't spend another day in our house, and then we cut off contact because both we and the kids were terrified of him. He was also charged in a court of law for child abuse against a minor child and was convicted, so he sort of went to a kid home for young sexual perps. We supported him being tried in court. My daughter and son felt vindicated to see that he had been judged as in the wrong. Not everyone is equipped to make that decision. This child did not come into our lives until he was eleven--perhaps we would have stayed more connected if he had come as an infant. It was easier to cut ties since we had only known him for three years. On top of that, he did not seem to care one wit about leaving us. He was not attached. So out he went and we recovered. I wonder how things would have been for all of us if we had made another choice. So...when is it time to say, "I can't anymore. I have to turn this over to outside help. He/she can not live here with the other kids anymore because it is damaging them." I know a few of you are parenting from different addresses and from afar. What was the final straw (if you care to share?). I'm very interesting in this. Perhaps we can all learn from it. I personally (and hub) never regretted out decision as the child was already a full blown psychopath who had no regard for animal or human life. WHAT CAN YOU DO FOR A KID LIKE THAT? Yet DCFS did they very best and tried and I hope they succeeded. Still, to this day our address and phone numbers are unlisted as we are fearful he will come after us. And I believe he could kill somebody. It would not shock me to see him on television as one who has murdered. And yet I hope he is living a good life and did improve. So...what's the verdict? What's that line that the child crosses? Or IS there no line? Do we owe it to our difficult child's to stick by them no matter what? Is it a copout to sent them to RTCs? I don't want to condemn anyone's choices in this thread. I just want a discussion. After all, we don't walk in one another's shoes. Every situation is different. For the record, NOTHING will prompt me to send my Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son away, even if he struggles as an adult. He is a good kid with a disability and works hard. We will help him all we can. Your turn (don't I have a big mouth?) Sorry, dudes and dudesses.