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Parent Emeritus
when our grown kids disappoint us
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<blockquote data-quote="Calamity Jane" data-source="post: 509930" data-attributes="member: 13882"><p>I think you've said it best, and the stages you mentioned seem accurate. The hope is you don't get stuck in a middle stage and not move on. It's so hard, because as a loving mom, you always try to find a solution - you're a problem solver "to the rescue." It's difficult, to say the least, when all the love and determination we may have seems like an illusion when our child is unable or unwilling to move forward. We are left with confusion and anger after what seems like a betrayal of our devotion. But anger turns to bitterness and resentment, and that is not healthy for us, either. So we must go thru detachment and autonomy, which leads to acceptance (connection). It's not unlike the stages of grief.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Calamity Jane, post: 509930, member: 13882"] I think you've said it best, and the stages you mentioned seem accurate. The hope is you don't get stuck in a middle stage and not move on. It's so hard, because as a loving mom, you always try to find a solution - you're a problem solver "to the rescue." It's difficult, to say the least, when all the love and determination we may have seems like an illusion when our child is unable or unwilling to move forward. We are left with confusion and anger after what seems like a betrayal of our devotion. But anger turns to bitterness and resentment, and that is not healthy for us, either. So we must go thru detachment and autonomy, which leads to acceptance (connection). It's not unlike the stages of grief. [/QUOTE]
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