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Parent Emeritus
when our grown kids disappoint us
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 510390"><p>I've read so many books in the last several years, I"m unsure if I read that book, but think I might have. I'm glad that you are starting to accept your difficult child as she is and have set boundaries!!!! </p><p>Regarding the stages, acceptance and letting go...I think that is where I am at as well. The journey has been long, painful...but enlightening.</p><p>As for the stages, they sound about right:</p><p>shock: Yep, I would say shock, some disbelief (mostly on DHs part), concern and worry. It is a LOSS. But one most be strong.</p><p>attention: Yep, had to pay attention to the problem...in fact it took most of my time for years.</p><p>action,detachment, autonomy ....Yep, at some point, particularly after she turned 18, I HAD to detach. It was contributing to health problems. I had to "let go and let God" so to speak.</p><p>connection: Not really sure what this means. I did learn to accept her as she is. I have learned to set boundaries and limits. This was a POWERFUL, IMPORTANT and VALUABLE lesson.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 510390"] I've read so many books in the last several years, I"m unsure if I read that book, but think I might have. I'm glad that you are starting to accept your difficult child as she is and have set boundaries!!!! Regarding the stages, acceptance and letting go...I think that is where I am at as well. The journey has been long, painful...but enlightening. As for the stages, they sound about right: shock: Yep, I would say shock, some disbelief (mostly on DHs part), concern and worry. It is a LOSS. But one most be strong. attention: Yep, had to pay attention to the problem...in fact it took most of my time for years. action,detachment, autonomy ....Yep, at some point, particularly after she turned 18, I HAD to detach. It was contributing to health problems. I had to "let go and let God" so to speak. connection: Not really sure what this means. I did learn to accept her as she is. I have learned to set boundaries and limits. This was a POWERFUL, IMPORTANT and VALUABLE lesson. [/QUOTE]
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