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Parent Emeritus
when our grown kids disappoint us
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 511066" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Thanks Tired, I appreciate your kind words. I identify with what you are saying. I'm not sure I am ready to say that I wouldn't change anything I've gone through with my difficult child, I would have much loved to have a 'normal' regular, every day relationship with my difficult child. Sigh. <em>But that was not to be.</em></p><p></p><p>I was the oldest of 5 and a single mom from the time my difficult child was 18 months old. And, yes, I suffered from enormous guilt too and as a result my daughter has a sense of entitlement. Like you, I am now in a relationship with a kind, loving, gentle man who is not the father of my difficult child and therefore can help me be detached and see reality. You and I have a lot in common.</p><p></p><p>You've been at this a long time Tired, my heart goes out to you. We are weary mom's, all of us here, and Dad's too, unlike those who have the perfect children. </p><p></p><p>I haven't heard from my difficult child since I wrote my email so I don't know her reaction. She still has her tent and car and cats and stuff here, so we don't know what is going on other then our deadline of March 1st. It would be nice to hear from her and find out what is going on, but I learned long ago to let go of that expectation. Fortunately, I have a CoDa meeting tomorrow and I can have some fun over the weekend. We're having my granddaughter's boyfriend over for dinner Saturday night, that is always an enjoyable time. She is still innocent and sweet, and at the same time wise beyond her years because of her Mom's shenanigans, but she is (<em>almost</em>) always a joy. </p><p></p><p>I know I say this a lot, and I hope it's not gotten old, but I am so inspired by your strength, everyone's strength, wisdom, courage, amazing tenacity and willingness to go through what we go through because no matter what they do, we still love them, they're still our children. Even when we distance ourselves from them, detach from their drama and hurts, don't see them for months or years, there is always that place in our hearts where they will always reside. God Bless............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 511066, member: 13542"] Thanks Tired, I appreciate your kind words. I identify with what you are saying. I'm not sure I am ready to say that I wouldn't change anything I've gone through with my difficult child, I would have much loved to have a 'normal' regular, every day relationship with my difficult child. Sigh. [I]But that was not to be.[/I] I was the oldest of 5 and a single mom from the time my difficult child was 18 months old. And, yes, I suffered from enormous guilt too and as a result my daughter has a sense of entitlement. Like you, I am now in a relationship with a kind, loving, gentle man who is not the father of my difficult child and therefore can help me be detached and see reality. You and I have a lot in common. You've been at this a long time Tired, my heart goes out to you. We are weary mom's, all of us here, and Dad's too, unlike those who have the perfect children. I haven't heard from my difficult child since I wrote my email so I don't know her reaction. She still has her tent and car and cats and stuff here, so we don't know what is going on other then our deadline of March 1st. It would be nice to hear from her and find out what is going on, but I learned long ago to let go of that expectation. Fortunately, I have a CoDa meeting tomorrow and I can have some fun over the weekend. We're having my granddaughter's boyfriend over for dinner Saturday night, that is always an enjoyable time. She is still innocent and sweet, and at the same time wise beyond her years because of her Mom's shenanigans, but she is ([I]almost[/I]) always a joy. I know I say this a lot, and I hope it's not gotten old, but I am so inspired by your strength, everyone's strength, wisdom, courage, amazing tenacity and willingness to go through what we go through because no matter what they do, we still love them, they're still our children. Even when we distance ourselves from them, detach from their drama and hurts, don't see them for months or years, there is always that place in our hearts where they will always reside. God Bless............ [/QUOTE]
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