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General Parenting
When the long term future for your child is very bleak....
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 122843" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>The statistics for my son's affliction are very bleak. I remember the sinking feeling I had when I realized those statistics were speaking of my son. </p><p></p><p>I know that he isn't ever going to have the life his easy child brother has or the one I had. Once I mourned the person I had hoped he would be and mourned my "failure" as a mother to fix him I took stock of what we had going for us.</p><p></p><p>Living a life that isn't what we call average independent doesn't have to mean a wasted life. I came to accept that difficult child will probably always need some sort of umbilical connection to someone. We worked on keeping him as close to his peer group as he could handle. We nudged him in areas where he didn't realize he should go.(driving, life plans, work)</p><p></p><p>I feel difficult child can hold a job under the right situation. I think he could live on his own with the right supports and I think he can marry in the right situation. It took me a long time to appreciate that it doesn't have to be our way or no way to live a life. There is something in between. </p><p></p><p>My goal is to get difficult child to the fullest life he can lead. I'll take that. My disappointment will be if he sabotages himself into having no choices but living a meaningless life. </p><p></p><p>I know this feeling, this realization that nature gave our certain difficult child's a deck that is stacked against them. Our jobs as warrior moms is to work with what they have and give them what they need. </p><p>Hugs and shared tears. Look for a light regarding difficult child and follow it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 122843, member: 3"] The statistics for my son's affliction are very bleak. I remember the sinking feeling I had when I realized those statistics were speaking of my son. I know that he isn't ever going to have the life his easy child brother has or the one I had. Once I mourned the person I had hoped he would be and mourned my "failure" as a mother to fix him I took stock of what we had going for us. Living a life that isn't what we call average independent doesn't have to mean a wasted life. I came to accept that difficult child will probably always need some sort of umbilical connection to someone. We worked on keeping him as close to his peer group as he could handle. We nudged him in areas where he didn't realize he should go.(driving, life plans, work) I feel difficult child can hold a job under the right situation. I think he could live on his own with the right supports and I think he can marry in the right situation. It took me a long time to appreciate that it doesn't have to be our way or no way to live a life. There is something in between. My goal is to get difficult child to the fullest life he can lead. I'll take that. My disappointment will be if he sabotages himself into having no choices but living a meaningless life. I know this feeling, this realization that nature gave our certain difficult child's a deck that is stacked against them. Our jobs as warrior moms is to work with what they have and give them what they need. Hugs and shared tears. Look for a light regarding difficult child and follow it. [/QUOTE]
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When the long term future for your child is very bleak....
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