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General Parenting
When the long term future for your child is very bleak....
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<blockquote data-quote="pepperidge" data-source="post: 123390" data-attributes="member: 2322"><p>Thanks so much for all your stories and support.. I know some of you are struggling with far worse than I deal with. </p><p></p><p>What's hard for me in part is the unhappiness and struggles of my son. If he were happy but limited and we could find suitable interventions there would still be the grieving and adjustment, but I would feel we were successful in helping him live his fullest life. </p><p></p><p>But with the spectre of drug& alchohol addiction a real possibility, extreme impulsiveness, his own knowledge that socially he is being marginalized, his own aspirations and the reality of what he can accomplish, and the reality of the hand life has dealt him, there are so many challenges. I think that is in part what makes life so difficult with our kids. There is only so much one can do to keep the self-destructive impulses at bay, yet the stakes are enormous. I need to do a better job of enjoying the good qualities--though I have to admit in early puberty here they are sometimes obscured. </p><p></p><p>For us it the future is not yet clear in terms of what kind of support will be needed, but I feel I have a different mind set now about the future, a new set of things to investigate. And that as some of you have said is liberating to some extent. </p><p></p><p>I feel like we need to find someplace to go to where we can find someone who is familiar with the difficulties of medicating Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) children, psychologists who may have some usefully guidance on dealing with the behavior challenges, and perhaps social workers or whatever who have some guidance on managing the long-term care issues. Does such a place exist? </p><p>It doesn't here locally, that's for sure!</p><p></p><p>It is certainly much more than I ever bargained for in becomng a mom. I have to say, I was pretty naive about the whole adoption things. Despite having done lots of research on the adoption agencies we used, one was closed down for falsifying records and lying to adoptive parents and the other admitted to us they did not give us the whole truth. But that is very much past history. </p><p></p><p>What matters is now, and here I am, along with you of all, warrior moms. Sometimes I feel the weight of the responsibility being the advocate for my children, in a world where our knowledge about what's right and best for them--much less the ability to access it -- is limited. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming, isn't it? but we go on.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again.</p><p></p><p>P.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="pepperidge, post: 123390, member: 2322"] Thanks so much for all your stories and support.. I know some of you are struggling with far worse than I deal with. What's hard for me in part is the unhappiness and struggles of my son. If he were happy but limited and we could find suitable interventions there would still be the grieving and adjustment, but I would feel we were successful in helping him live his fullest life. But with the spectre of drug& alchohol addiction a real possibility, extreme impulsiveness, his own knowledge that socially he is being marginalized, his own aspirations and the reality of what he can accomplish, and the reality of the hand life has dealt him, there are so many challenges. I think that is in part what makes life so difficult with our kids. There is only so much one can do to keep the self-destructive impulses at bay, yet the stakes are enormous. I need to do a better job of enjoying the good qualities--though I have to admit in early puberty here they are sometimes obscured. For us it the future is not yet clear in terms of what kind of support will be needed, but I feel I have a different mind set now about the future, a new set of things to investigate. And that as some of you have said is liberating to some extent. I feel like we need to find someplace to go to where we can find someone who is familiar with the difficulties of medicating Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) children, psychologists who may have some usefully guidance on dealing with the behavior challenges, and perhaps social workers or whatever who have some guidance on managing the long-term care issues. Does such a place exist? It doesn't here locally, that's for sure! It is certainly much more than I ever bargained for in becomng a mom. I have to say, I was pretty naive about the whole adoption things. Despite having done lots of research on the adoption agencies we used, one was closed down for falsifying records and lying to adoptive parents and the other admitted to us they did not give us the whole truth. But that is very much past history. What matters is now, and here I am, along with you of all, warrior moms. Sometimes I feel the weight of the responsibility being the advocate for my children, in a world where our knowledge about what's right and best for them--much less the ability to access it -- is limited. Sometimes it is a bit overwhelming, isn't it? but we go on. Thanks again. P. [/QUOTE]
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