When you are really, really done, what do you do with the rage? Hi all ... I found this page after doing an internet search for "My daughter stole everything I have." I'm a 52 year-old working woman. I grew up housing-project-poor, put myself through college and graduate school and became a professor. I only say this to emphasize that my daughter's theft of everything I had, though it wasn't much, touches on some deep issues for me as someone who grew up with nothing and has never had any help from anyone. I have yet to gain the security most professionals have because I only paid off my student loans 5 years ago, 3 years before my daughter stole everything that I have. I adopted my daughter with my former husband of 15 years or so. She was a "kinship" adoption. Her birth mother was an estranged cousin who was an addict and abandoned her kids after her husband OD'd. We met my daughter when she was 3 1/2 and began paying for therapy before she was even in our custody. As I am sure most of you know, raising a child with attachment disorder, rage, oppositional defiance disorder, and a host of other things takes a toll on a marriage. Despite everything, my ex-husband and I remained aligned in order to co-parent our daughter. We chose her over us. Despite all of this, despite private school and therapy and medication and as much love and acceptance as anyone can muster-up, my daughter stole everything I had in January of 2016. She was in her last year of high school, 18 and so legally an adult, and completely reckless. She has never been a substance abuser but her actions are not unlike the way addicts pillage their own lives and everyone around them. I discovered on January 12th of that year, 13 days after receiving my paycheck, that I had $248 to my name. I turned her in. 41 counts of identity theft, forgery, and larceny. I told her that we could not have the same relationship, that she would not be in my life in a "normal" way, that when she went to jail I would not visit, I would not help her. I made clear the times I would step in: sometimes I would go to a hearing. I put money on her commissary on Christmas. When she was released the first time, she committed Criminal Impersonation and was arrested again and served a few months. When she was released in November, my current husband suggested we "give her one more chance" with stipulations. We allowed her to "rent" her old room in my home. She was responsible to have a job or be in school, paying for her own everything including most food, and helping us take care of things around the house. After approximately 90 days, earlier this week, we were informed by our bank that they had surveillance footage of her trying to cash a $2000 check from an account in both of our names. She stole the check and waited until I had to leave town on business. I made it very clear to her that she had ruined us financially, which she did. My husband works for a small start-up and does not receive a paycheck. The only thing that saved us was that there was actually no money in the account. If she had succeeded, I would not have been able to pay my rent or car payments. I am devastated not only because she betrayed me, but because she has no regard at all for my well-being. The first time all of this happened she was an 18 year old high school student and anyone could reason that while the behavior was destructive, she didn't fully understand the implications of her actions. This time, she's a 20 year old felon who has lived through 2 years of consequences, who knows her mother will turn her in, who knows her mother and step-father have been in financial peril for the last 2 years because of her .. and she did it anyway. I have so much rage that I barely know what to do with it. Yes, I'm sad. I'm depressed. I feel despair. But what worries me the most is how I find myself fantasizing about screaming at her, of holding her down and just pouring out all of my rage. I don't like to feel this way. I don't like how unsettled I am at my core. I am not conflicted about having or not having her in my life. She will never be in my life again. But how do I move forward without also feeling like I've wasted my life? How do I move forward and ever feel peace again? My husband is older than me and my stepdaughter just had a baby girl. The baby was here yesterday and I realize that I'm hesitant to feel anything for her. I am afraid to have any affection for her. I am so closed off now. I even keep my husband's adult children at arm's length. I feel like each one of them is just an opportunity for hurt and betrayal. I am angry to hear people talk about their children. How do I continue to live my life as a loving and giving person, as I've always been, and not one governed by hate and bitterness? How do I move forward and not worry constantly that someone is trying to ruin me? Thanks for reading. I'm just trying to find peace. (until my signature shows up) * 52 year old woman. Second marriage: 2015. First marriage: lasted 20 years, 15 before adopting my daughter and 5 afterwards. *Children: One daughter, 20 years old, adopted at 3 1/2, diagnosed with attachment disorder, borderline personality disorder, ADHD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) ODD, Bipolar II. *I'm here because I have cut all ties with my daughter after significant theft and betrayal. I am struggling with the rage that ensues. I'm so angry I could punch a hole in the sky.