I am so sorry that you had to endure all of that with your daughter. It truly is awful that she put you through so much, and that you were encouraged to have her live with you after she stole from you so completely the first time.
Please pester your DA's office to see if they have a Victim's Fund that will pay for counseling. Or else go to the local Domestic Violence Center and ask them for help. You NEED professional help to deal with this type of rage before it destroys other parts of your life. You need help to be able to trust other people after this type of betrayal. been there done that, that is how I know!! Financial Violence IS domestic violence and it DOES fall under the mandate of domestic violence centers. Child upon parent violence is also covered.
When I needed help, I first had to talk to an idiot receptionist who tried to tell me that kids COULD NOT abuse parents. I didn't listen to her and I insisted on speaking to her boss. I got the help I needed and a HUGE apology for the receptionist's behavior. If you call, and someone tells you that this isn't violence, DO NOT let them scare you away!!! Insist on talking to the head of the center!!! Often it will get you a LOT farther.
As you are a professor, you probably are aware of universities with psychology departments. They usually offer clinics with sliding scale therapy. I know quite a few professors here go to the clinic at our local university's clinic for therapy. I would see them when I went there. You see a senior or graduate student for therapy, and their work is recorded and then reviewed by a licensed professor. You get whatever feedback the professor gave, so you get the input of the person you are having sessions with AND the licensed professor (all professors are licensed psychologists). Of course this is all confidential. I know that various professors went there because I could remember faces from various campus functions (I was a faculty brat).
I hope you can use one or more of these options to find therapy that will help you with your anger. It has to go somewhere and the other people in your life don't deserve it. Neither do you. Turning it on your adopted daughter is incredibly dangerous. I am sorry that this happened to you.
