Venting is understandable, and this is the appropriate place to do it because so many of us have reached a similar point.
My experience with my two difficult children, now in their thirties, sadly, is that anytime I have opened the door, the honeymoon lasts very little time before the manipulation and inappropriate behaviors reappear. I have little to no contact with them, and will not allow them to live under my roof no matter what.
This is hard, especially if you live in a small community, but the people who say that obviously don't know how much you have done to help your child. It hurts, but the people who really know you, will judge you or tell you what you should do. Many of the decisions that we parents of difficult adult children have to make are agonizing. You don't need FOG (fear, obligation, and guilt) on top of that.
You deserve to live your life being safe and respected. If your daughter won't honor that, you are right to have no contact.
