Welcome, Rebel Mommy. I'm so sorry for what you are going through but glad you found us.
Between creating their own problems and refusing to act on the help they are given, difficult children can and do wreak havoc in the lives of the rest of the family. It sounds like that is what your daughter is doing.
I would certainly agree with you that your youngest, at 11, definitely needs to be shielded from the mayhem. And if your daughter is making your home and your boys' home an unsafe environment, then you are absolutely doing the right thing. At 24, it is time for your daughter to initiate some self-care.
I'm so sorry you are in this position, and I totally understand your grief and anger.
My husband and I have been dealing with my son's self-destructive choices for close to 15 years now. He is now 28. The only times we heard from him were when he wanted us to rescue him because he ran out of partying options or he wanted to blame us for the messes he created. Although we tried to shield his sister from much of it, it still took a real toll on all of us. Over the years, my son alienated every member of his family, until eventually even we decided to cut contact.
I hope with all my heart my son decides to make some better choices, but for now we can't be around him. It causes too much havoc and pain. I know there are some who think less of me for making that decision, but they don't really understand what it's like to walk in our shoes.
